


Bad Love

by mirrorflake



Category: H2O Delirious Fiction, RPF's, Real Person Fiction, Vanossgaming fiction, Youtubers
Genre: I love angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-02
Updated: 2015-08-03
Packaged: 2018-02-11 11:19:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 43,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2066193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mirrorflake/pseuds/mirrorflake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jonathan moves to Canada with his parents without telling anyone, not even his Youtube friends, not even Evan; his secret love. He tells himself that it's okay, that nobody really cares that it's alright to keep the fact to himself that he's now closer to Evan and that he can just meet up with him anytime he wants. But Tyler just happens to ask about it. And so he lies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ugh I can't even describe the love I have for Vanoss and Delirious. I ship them; HARD. So if you do not like the pairing, please don't bother to read. To those who ship the pairing, feel free to read. Leave comments as well. Have fun!

\---

Jonathan squinted his eyes as he took a look at his new room, with his hands in his coat. It wasn't bad, not at all. It was actually bigger than his room back in North Carolina. He grinned slightly when he walked towards the bed, slowly sitting on it and feeling its sheets. Ah, he felt so tired. The trip wasn't a joke, and his parents kind of argued along the way because his mum disagreed about moving. She loved North Carolina so much that she did her best to ask his dad not to move anymore. But his dad's work was a bitch, and there was no way his dad would have said no. The old man earns a lot from it. He sighed and bent over to pick up his huge bag. He completely forgot about unpacking because of how nice his room turned out to be. 

 

\---

 

"Did you like your new room?"

Jonathan gave his dad a quick glance before stuffing a slice of chocolate cake in his mouth. They were currently having dinner at this fine restaurant where all of his favorites were present. He nodded and mouthed a soft "Yes" and continued munching on his remaining dessert. He loved the cake so much. The way the icing melted on his tongue was perfect. It was too sweet, which he was thankful for since he's a fan of sweet things. 

_Sweet things like Evan?_

He almost choked on his food when he thought of Evan. His mum quickly handed him a glass of cold water. He mumbled a raspy "Thanks" because his throat started to hurt due to the cake's sweetness. Ah, why the hell did he have to think of that guy? He silently cursed and excused himself to go to the washroom. He didn't feel like eating anymore. Come to think of it, he's now in Canada. And Evan lives in Canada. He shook his head when he reached the room and turned the tap on, cleaning the mess he made by licking the icing off of his fingers. He let out a heavy sigh when the possibility of meeting the man surfaced. He didn't want to meet Evan. He didn't want to see his face, to personally talk to him, to hold him (like give his back a tap or maybe his butt whichever he'd prefer) and to see him smile. The thought was just enough to make him go insane. Why? Because he loves the man. He is in love with him and how he wished he was able to stop it. But he wasn't, he couldn't, he didn't want to stop. Evan gives him this indescribable feeling, like those things he read on the internet such as "oh your crush surely gives you butterflies in your stomach". 

"Fuck you, Evan, you stupid bitch," he muttered under his breath and curled his hand into a fist. He didn't want to meet him, even if it's an accident, hell no way. He would do his best for their paths to not meet. Never.

 

\---

 

"Hahahaha oh my god, Delirious, you retard. You just destroyed the whole building, man, come on!" Tyler yelled while everyone laughed on the background.

Jonathan tried to land the chopper on the top of a building but he didn't see Marcel put bombs on it so it exploded, causing the building to go down. His ears turned red when he heard Evan laugh as well. It sure was a hearty laugh and he bit his tongue so hard because the butterflies were back once again, residing in his stomach. 

"It was Marcel's fault haha! Damn you, Marcel!" he yelled out instead of an "Evan you cutie I like you so much" and Marcel replied with a "No no no I didn't do it". They were having a great time playing GTA V that he even skipped his lunch. Evan ate his lunch while playing, and the others did the same as well. But he didn't feel hungry. He was already full just by hearing the man's laughter. 

"Hey Delirious," Tyler called, snapping him out of his reverie. 

"Yeah?" he answered and rode his blue car in the game, driving it way too recklessly, aiming for the wall. 

"My mum was planning to visit her friend who lives in North Carolina. She wants me to come with her but I'm not sure yet. Would you like to meet up with me, man? No one from the group has seen your face."

Jonathan almost dropped his controller when he heard Tyler's question. Shit, he thought, and made up many excuses in his head but the ideas were too shitty so he tried to think of another excuse to say. Before he could answer, Evan spoke.

"Yeah, Delirious. Meet up with Tyler. Then take some pictures and upload them. We want to see your face haha!"

Everyone joined in and supported what Evan has said. Now he was in trouble. He couldn't tell them the truth. That would mean he has to meet Evan instead of Tyler. And that would surely be the death of him. Evan and him meeting? No fucking way.

"U-Uhm...I really want to, but I can't," he softly said and kind of stopped playing. He left his masked character idle in the car, alone, while the others were busy planting bombs everywhere and messing around.

"Why not, man?" Craig asked who had his character running towards his car and had it explode. Laughter erupted again but he couldn't do the same. He was very worried. Should he lie about living in Canada?

"Because we're really busy... like me and my mum and dad?" he did his best to sound convincing. But Tyler didn't buy it.

"Explains why you're playing with us right now, you jackass."

He coughed a little and scratched his nose. How was he going to excuse himself out of this shit? He thought of another idea but Lui interrupted the conversation with his natural voice.

"It's alright, Delirious. We understand that you do not want to show your face to us. It could be about privacy and stuff. So you may stop making excuses now hahaha!"

Tyler laughed as well. "Or maybe it's just because he's ugly?" 

This time, he had himself laugh together with his friends. Not because the statement was true, but because he was finally free and he wasn't nervous anymore and he felt so lucky to have his friends who understand him and not get mad at him for being a massive pussy, and for being who they are.

"I'm pretty sure Delirious has a beautiful face. Am I right, Jonathan?" Evan said after the fun. And Jonathan almost fainted.

 

\---

 

Jonathan isn't ugly. And neither does have have that perfectly-looking face like what Evan has. He just looks normal. A normal white male. Not that ugly, not that handsome. He couldn't even describe his face. But he got told a lot that he was attractive. His laughter was his best asset, some said, but others chose his personality. He's definitely out-going, a happy-go-lucky person, a fellow that has a kind heart, and everything nice. The only thing that was worried about was his extreme selfishness on things that he owns. He had always wanted to be selfish when it comes to Evan but sadly, the man wasn't his and never will be his. Evan's straight as a fucking ruler and there was no way in hell he'd be interested in a guy. A guy like him.

"This is stupid. Fucking stupid," he hissed as he carefully placed a huge ass shampoo bottle into the cart. He was at a shopping mall and in his right hand was a long list of things to buy his mum had scribbled earlier at home. He hated himself for thinking too much about Evan and Evan and Evan and the probability of meeting the man. He harshly pushed the cart towards the meat section because he was pissed off like that. Before he could even reach the single deck meat case, a man just had to pass by in front of him so he ended up bumping the cart against the other one. 

"Shit," Jonathan barked and pulled his cart right away, making his own way to the stupid stranger. "Are you blind? Didn't you see that I was walking towards this area?!"

The man was taller than him by two inches. He was huge, too, and he couldn't properly see his face because the other one was busy patting his knees.

"Look, I'm sorry alright? I was in a rush," the man apologized and finally turned his head to face him. 

Jonathan's eyes widened instantly when he saw that face. Those eyes, that pointy nose, and thin lips. Those features that belong to no other than Vanossgaming the god himself. Evan, the perfect Evan. It was him all along! His eyes widened some more when Evan squinted his eyes just to stare at him. The butterflies were on their duty again, making his heart beat fast, then faster, until he found it hard to breathe. He snapped and turned around to take a hold on his cart and ran away. He got worried, very worried that Evan might have thought it was him because of his voice. God, he talked too much when he could have just let it go. The fucking possibility of meeting each other had ended because it became a reality. Who knew?

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

\---

 

Evan glanced at his wrist watch and clucked his tongue, hurrying himself towards the meat section. He was already at the counter with two packs of mixed fruits in his arm when he suddenly remembered that he actually had a cart. The problem was he forgot where he placed it. So he went back to all the places he had been and failed to find it until he caught a glance of the single deck meat case. He recalled buying chicken meat. So he quickly made his way to the area and saw his cart. But before he could reach it, something bumped against him and hurt his left knee. He cursed in his thoughts and checked his knee, patting the fabric and hearing a man's hoarse voice at the same time, yelling at him.

"Are you blind? Didn't you see that I was walking towards this area?!" 

Evan's eyebrows furrowed after hearing that voice. The man sounded surprisingly familiar to him but he didn't know who. It was like he had heard of it before but he couldn't just get it out of his mind. As he finished checking his knees, he turned to finally see the angry stranger. He would admit that it was his fault because he wasn't looking and who knew this shit would happened to the both of them, anyway?

"Look, I'm sorry alright? I was in a rush," Evan apologetically said and stared down at the man, who had his arms crossed against his chest, with the I-am-fucking-pissed look. Their eyes met and he felt something that he couldn't describe. It surprised him because he didn't normally eye strangers like what he was doing now. Yet he did, and there he was, squinting his eyes at the other one and thinking that he possibly had met him before. Hence, thinking that his voice was oddly familiar. 

Evan saw the latter's eyes widen and his forehead crinkled, having the idea that maybe he was a fan and he had seen his face reveal videos already. He wanted to say something to him but the man just snapped out of his own thoughts, turning around with his cart in his hand, and walked away from him. He was even in a hurry, as if he was disgusted by their meeting. 

"Oh wow..." he whispered and stared at the fading figure in front of him, shaking his head gently right after. "That was fun."

He remembered his cart once again and this time, he didn't let himself forget. He ran to the cashier to pay. He couldn't wait to get home.

 

\---

 

"Delirious! Get your ass over here!" Evan loudly said in a cheerful manner, waiting for his friend in his car. He wanted to show Jonathan this new glitch he did when he was playing alone. He saw Delirious making his own way to his vehicle and hurriedly sat on the passenger's seat, doing the "wanking" gesture with his weird laugh.

"Drive, Vanoss!" his friend beamed and gave his character a punch in the face. He returned him a punch in the face as well and started to drive. They both let out a crazy laugh when Evan bumped into a lot of people on the streets, seeing all of them fly in the air. Suddenly, his car was on fire because of Delirious. 

"What did you do now, Delirious?!" he said and grabbed his shotgun, aiming for Delirious' head. His friend chuckled and got out his gun, too. They were facing each other as his car was still on fire.

"'M sorry!"

"I'm gonna have to kill you now, you bitch!" 

Jonathan's character began to run in circles and he kept on snorting because it was hard for him to shoot him.

"STOP MOVING!"

"Noooooo leave me the fuck alone, Vanoss!" 

Evan put his shotgun down and ran towards his friend, elbowing his head and cackling at the same time. Delirious was such a massive dork. There was never a time Evan's got bored of his games with him. He was so fun to be with especially when it was just the two of them. They were able to do missions together and kill each other in the process. 

"I'm hungry..." the other guy abruptly said and killed his own character. "I need foooooooooood~"

"Go eat, man," he replied and shot his own character. "I'm hungry as well."

"I forgot to buy my favorite chocolate chip cookies! I'm so mad," Jonathan murmured and Evan could hear him sigh.

"I've got cookies but they're strawberry-flavored haha! Sucks, man. I forgot to buy some things as well."

"Hahaha how unfortunate of you. I was out shopping yesterday and thank goodness, I bought every stuff listed by my mum."

Evan shrugged listlessly and played with his controller, looking at the GTA V logo on the screen. "I was out shopping yesterday, too. I bumped into this man and he was so weird. Speaking of the man, you guys sound the same. I don't know."

Jonathan didn't reply to what he said and he was wondering if he went idle without telling him or maybe he was too hungry to respond. 

"Delirious? 'You still there, man?" he asked and waited for him to respond. Then his friend spoke again.

"Sorry, Vanoss. I have to go for now. M-My mum called me a-and she prepared something for me. I'll talk to you later, bye!" 

And he hung up. Just like that.

"'The fuck was that?" he grumbled and frowned at his controller. Oh well, now he's back to being bored. And he's got nothing to do. He should just probably wait for the others to get online.

 

\---

 

"Shit shit shit shit shit," Jonathan profusely cursed under his breath as he descended the stairs. He couldn't stop himself from feeling very nervous of what Evan had said about the stranger's voice and his voice sounding alike. Because it was him! He wanted to strangle himself or maybe purposely fall down the stairs. He couldn't think straight right now and the fact that he was hungry didn't help. Right after their meeting yesterday at the meat section, he wasn't able to get his shit straight. All he thought about was Evan and Evan and Evan. The meat became Evan, the cart became Evan, even the floor became Evan! Everything became Evan. Even his mum.

"If this is what you feel when you're in love, then I don't want it. This shit sucks like hell and it bothers me to death!" he angrily muttered and walked to the kitchen, looking for something to eat. He did forget to buy chocolate chip cookies and he was madder this time. It was all Evan's fault. If he just looked at his own path, there was no way they would have met. Stupid, stupid, Evan!

"Oh Jonathan! What are you doing?" his mum asked as she just appeared out of nowhere, holding two paper bags in each arm. Jonathan told her he was looking for food and his bad mood banished when his mum brought him sandwiches. 

"By the way," his mum said, "your dad called me earlier. He asked me if you were free tomorrow morning. He wanted you to go to his office."

"Tomorrow?" He finished munching on his food first before speaking again. "Yeah sure I'm free. Tell him I'd go. Why, though?"

"I'm not sure but he mentioned that you'd be of help."

He nodded and grabbed more sandwiches from the plate. "I'm so hungry."

His mum chuckled slightly and patted his head as gently as ever. "Keep eating. Your dad won't be coming home tonight so you'd have to go to his office by yourself. Don't forget alright?" 

"Yes mum, and thanks for the sandwiches."

 

\---

 

As the sun rises and starts to show its light through Evan's window, he couldn't help but grimace and groan out loud, covering his face with his blanket and forcing himself to sleep again. But it had already become a routine for him; to wake up at 7 AM and go out for a run. But he didn't feel like running. He was so tired and he couldn't feel his feet! He breathed out forcefully and slowly got up from the bed, cradling his chin with his hand and having his eyes still closed. There was no doubt he was still sleepy. He happened to stay up all night editing videos for him to upload later. 

He glanced at the wall clock. It read 7:10 AM. He had to get out of the bed and take a shower. His dad needed him at the office and he couldn't say no to him. Knowing his dad, he wouldn't like it when people reject him. Especially if he needed help from them. It was probably urgent because out of all people, he was the one his dad called for.

He got in his car and turned the ignition on. His wristwatch already read 8:30 AM. He knew he was already late but he couldn't be fucked. The rice cooker was acting retarded again so he had to settle for a goddamned cereal that he didn't like. He drove very carefully to his dad's office and made sure that he was in a good mood. He wondered what his dad would want him to do once he reached his place. Probably editing? But his dad was good at it. 

"Hmm..." he hummed and parked his car very carefully when he arrived. He took his keys and shoved them in his pocket, running towards the elevator. As usual, the elevator was loaded with busy workers. They were all holding piles of paper works and deep inside, Evan pitied them. He knew the salary wasn't that great. And there the employees were, busying themselves. 

_As if..._

Evan, without knocking, just opened the door and entered the room silently. He laid his sight on his dad's who had his eyes set upon him as well. The man was frowning and he gave him a reluctant smile. 

"What did I tell you about knocking?" His dad greeted him with that stupid question. He mouthed an apology and there he noticed, a man sitting on a chair right in front of his dad's table, probably at his 40's and on his side was a younger guy, probably at his 20's he wasn't sure, standing. His eyes slightly widened when he focused on him. He definitely looked familiar.

_The guy at the grocery store!_

Evan gaped his mouth open when he finally remembered. It was the same guy from the store! The guy with the hoarse voice. The guy who sounded like Delirious. He thought it was ridiculous. Who would have thought they'd meet once again? And this time, in his dad's office place.

"Alright, son. Come here and meet the new engineer," his dad spoke and signaled him to come to his side. He obliged. "George, meet my son, Evan. Evan, this is George. And that is his son...?"

George, the newly hired engineer stood up from his seat to shake hands with him, smiling sincerely and Evan knew he was a great person. 

"Nice to meet you, Evan. And oh, this is my son, Jonathan. He's with me today because I need him with something," the man said, introducing his son and glancing at him, initiating a hand-shaking between his son and Evan. But Jonathan remained silent and just nodded, his sight on the floor.

George spoke again. "I'm sorry. He's really shy and all that stuff, as you can see."

Evan smiled and assured him that it was okay. But his mind was focused on something else. The guy's name is Jonathan. And he possessed this voice similar to Delirious', whose name's Jonathan, too. He bit his lower lip and tried to connect things again. But it was impossible right that this guy is Delirious? His friend lives in North Carolina and he's in Canada, for fuck's sake. 

He would have already given up the impossible idea of Delirious being in Canada when he heard George talk. 

"My wife didn't really want to leave North Carolina. But I was so persistent to getting this job. I want to give them a more beautiful life."

Evan swiftly stared at the younger lad, whose face was as pale as his knuckles because he curled his hand into a fist, and blinked. No fucking way. 

Jonathan, who was looking everywhere but not at him, decided to stand up and even let out a loud sigh. "I-If you may as well excuse me, I need to go to the washroom..." 

Before he could make his paces towards the door, Evan stood up from his seat and called out.

"Delirious?!"

 

tbc


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. Thank you so much for reading this! Here's the new chapter and I'm sorry if it's not that long. Uni is killing me but I promise to give you a very long update next time! Comments and likes would be greatly appreciated! Peace out :~D

_\---_

 

_Jonathan still remembered that day when he stumbled upon Evan's youtube channel. He just finished working on his school project and he got nothing else to do so he decided to check out some funny CoD videos on Youtube. There he noticed Vanossgaming and tried them out. He had so much fun watching the videos, he would admit. They were incredibly funny and unlike the others, Vanossgaming's style was unique. He knew how to keep his audience entertained and not get bored AT ALL. But there was this one thing Jonathan had liked so much and it was Vanoss' voice. Somehow, after finishing the first video, he felt something weird, like he was a child who received too many chocolates from his mum and he couldn't finish them all. He felt so alive. He wondered what the face was behind that lovely and manly voice. He wanted to get to know the person. He wanted to be friends with him so bad. And he wanted to play video games with him non-stop._

_Not wasting time, Jonathan made his decision to send Vanoss a message. That time he didn't know what his real name was so he just composed a message like "Hey Vanoss, I am Delirious and I just want to say that I really love your videos and I enjoy them a lot. I wonder if you could spare your time to play CoD with me? I would appreciate it, thanks." With his heart in his hand, he lied down on his bed and closed his eyes. His eyes hurt from playing too much video games and searching funny videos on Youtube. Not to mention he also checked out some turtle-related stuff. Turtles are his favorite. When he was falling asleep, he hoped Vanoss would reply. Or else it would really sadden him._

_It was already afternoon when he awoke by his mum who accidentally dropped something, sounded like a cooking pan because he still recalled how it badly hurt his ears, downstairs. He rubbed his eyes gently and yawned, hearing whale noises made by his stomach. He was hungry. When he got up from the bed, he glanced at his desktop and suddenly recalled the yesterday's event. The Vanossgaming. And his message for the awesome youtuber!_

_"Oh shit oh shit," he said and gulped loudly it kind of hurt his throat and ran to his computer, turning it on as fast as he could and sat enthusiastically on the swivel chair. He had his fingers crossed when he went to the inbox and there he saw his reply. Jonathan gasped and clapped his hands joyfully. He, then, clicked on the new message and read it._

_"Thanks for liking my videos. I am so thankful and glad that you enjoyed them. Of course, man, we can play sometime."_

_He didn't know what to say and how to reply. All he knew was that he wanted to go to bathroom so bad because his dick hurt. He needed to pee._

_That's how their friendship started. And how he fell in love in the process._

 

"Delirious?!" Evan called out and Jonathan froze from where he was standing. His heart was beating so fast and it felt like it was going to jump out of his chest. He was scared, he was angry, he wanted to punch himself in the face for coming to his dad's workplace without knowing that Evan's dad was his dad's boss and he just wanted to flee out of the room. But what exactly was he going to do? Now that Evan found out who he was, what he looked like, his mind went blank.

"Delirious, is that really you?" he heard Evan call out again. This time, he breathed through his nose and it came out more as a snort, and decided to run away. He quickly opened the door and went out of the room without looking back.

When he was finally standing outside, he grabbed his hair and pulled them harshly. He was so stupid. Hadn't he lied about moving, he wouldn't have had a problem. What if Evan hated him? What if he didn't want to be his friend anymore? What if he forgot about him and their friendship? What about his love for him? There were a lot of questions running through his head as he made steps to the washroom. And then he heard the door open. And it was from the office he was in awhile ago. He turned around to see who it was and he couldn't believe how fucking stupid he could be because who else would go out other than him? It was the almighty Evan, of course!

Jonathan clucked his tongue and decided to run this time, aiming for the washroom and locking himself up in there. There was no way he'd let Evan confront him about the truth. Because what excuses could he say? He was trapped, and there was no way out. 

But Evan was fast. When he got in the washroom, so did he. And now they're just looking at each other, and he swore he felt his world explode. Like he could hear the loud sound of explosion in his head that was telling him he was fucking done. That he could just kill himself and give up. Tyler was right. He was the biggest idiot that ever lived on the planet. Now he was sweating like a pig, scared of being confronted. And he was scared to spit out lies. More pathetic lies. 

"U-Uhm..." he spoke nervously, pacing a few steps backward, as much as possible away from Evan. God, this guy's just so huge he felt a bit intimidated. Evan could easily punch him in the chin and he'd be flying in the air, dead.

"Delirious..." Evan whispered darkly, his eyes narrowing as he said it, and Jonathan's knees turned into water. He's mad!

"I...W-Who's Delirious?" he asked and acted as if he had no idea who the heck Delirious was. Yeah, this was much better. He just needed to pretend that he was a different Jonathan. That him and Delirious having the same voice was just pure coincidence and also their names being similar. 

"You're not fooling me this time, godfuckingdamn it. Do you think I'm stupid?!" 

Evan's breath was a mixture of annoyance and desperation. He knew he had to stop or else it was going to be the end for him. But he was really afraid, and he didn't trust himself to comprehend of something because his brain wasn't working at all. 

"I...I am not D-Delirious," he stuttered as he talked and there Evan gripped his left arm tightly, making him wince in pain. It hurt! But it was worth it. He was a big fat liar, anyway, fooling everyone and not being honest with his friends. He deserved this treatment from Evan. 

"Yes, you are, and don't even deny it, Jonathan. Like, really, what is so hard about telling the fucking truth?!" The taller man angrily said and rolled his eyes at him. Ah, Evan looked so hot when he's mad. Jonathan got the urge to slap himself in the face for even thinking of that! 

"E-Evan... it hurts..." he whispered and felt his eyes water. Evan didn't listen nor care because he pulled him closer to him, staring at his eyes with his, which were filled of anger. 

"You're Delirious, aren't you? Tell me the truth."

Jonathan, not having a second doubt, nodded quickly, hoping his friend would let go of his arm because the pain started to make his arm weak. "Y-Yes, fuck it. I am Delirious! Now let go of me, Evan you shithead!"

Evan did let go. He rubbed his arm gently and checking if there was a bruise. Thankfully, there wasn't and he sighed out loud.

"Me? A shithead? I wasn't the one who lied about the moving-to-Canada shit. Really, Jonathan, that was so fucking moronic of you. You might have fooled our friends, but definitely not me!"

He faced Evan with his chin pointed upward. "What's the big deal huh? So what if I lied? So what if I fooled our friends, Evan?"

Evan gawked at him and rolled his eyes. "Are you stupid? It would hurt them!"

"Oh please." he sneered in return, folding his arms across his chest and glancing at the sink. "Trust me, they wouldn't even care. Really, Evan, it's not that much of a big deal, is it?"

"I do care! What do you think of me? A heartless shitty person? I am your best friend!" 

"Best friend on Youtube, not in real life! Get your shit straight!" he yelled and saw hurt in Evan's eyes. He wanted to smack himself and take back what he just said.

"Ugh are you kidding me now?! Had I known you moved here from North Carolina, I would have met you right away!" Evan yelled back and gritted his teeth. He sure was mad.

"That was the problem! I didn't want to see you!"

"B-But I wanted to..." he whispered and looked at him deeply in the eyes, waiting for him to say that it was a joke, that he was only kidding, because he would have understood and forgiven him. But Jonathan didn't since he was stubborn like that. He appeared to be very ruthless in front of his friend, whom he liked so much. But it's already been done, there was no turning back. 

Evan dropped his shoulders listlessly after hearing what he said. It looked like he just got punched in the face so hard. With his creased forehead, he bit his upper lip slightly, raising a hand up to scratch his head.

"Alright, Jonathan. Alright. Fine then. Fine. Whatever, man. What-fucking-ever," he said in a raspy voice and turned to walk out of the room, closing the door harshly and Jonathan was left there inside, processing what just happened. He's dead meat.

_Fuck!_

 

 

\---

 

They haven't been talking ever since that incident happened. It had been a month already and Jonathan regretted it so bad. He wanted to talk to Evan through his dad but he was too shy to do so. There was one time they met at their dad's workplace. Their eyes met and he hoped Evan would just approach him already but the other one pretended that he didn't see him and continued walking towards the elevator. The pain stung so bad it felt like his heart was stabbed with a knife, cutting it in half. Slowly, and with pleasure. Was it really the end of their friendship?

"Hey, Delirious! Where's your blue car?" Tyler asked and Jonathan freed from his thoughts, looking at his idle character, standing under a tree.

"Oh uh Marcel destroyed my car..." he answered in a low voice, not having the mood to play at all because Evan wasn't around whenever he went online which was so clear to him that he was ignoring him purposely. 

"Delirious, did you and Evan fight?" Craig butted in the conversation, waiting for him to answer. He nodded, as if everyone could see him. He felt tired once he heard the question being asked. It was his fault.

"Because I just noticed that when Evan's here, you're not. When usually, you and him were the first ones to be present in game. Did something happen?" 

"W-Well... yeah..." 

He heard Marcel speak very fast he wasn't able to catch up. "What, Marcel?"

"What happened? I asked Evan the other day and all I got from him was silence. Tell us, man. We're friends, right?"

Jonathan sighed and grasped his controller tightly, starting to narrate everything that happened last month. His friends' reactions were the same as Evan's and he understood it perfectly because he lied and friends wouldn't lie to each other. If him moving to Canada wasn't a big deal, then so was the truth being told. He shouldn't have lied. Meeting Evan would have been considered as luck because hello who wouldn't want to meet Evan? He was a lovely guy and he was very nice. But he fucked it up. Him up. He was a terrible friend to him. He told him bad things. Now Evan's really mad at him and he felt suddenly depressed. 

"Damn, Delirious. You really are crazy, dude..." Tyler stated the obvious. "So what are you gonna do now? I'm pretty sure you hurt Evan's feelings. Even if he could be a total jerk in game sometimes, that man's really sensitive."

"I know," he agreed. "I don't know what to do, guys. He doesn't even want to talk to me. I feel so bad I want to hit my head against the wall."

"Now that's fucking retarded, don't do that please," Marcel said. "We can think of an idea?"

Craig joined in. "What about you visit Evan's house, dude? Your dad and his dad are good friends, right? You can ask your father Evan's address."

"Yeah! You can do that, Delirious," said Tyler and killed Marcel's character, laughing on the background when Marcel noticed and whined right away. 

"Oh..b-but I am too shy..." 

"Fuck that, man. This is Evan we're talking about! A great friend. Do you want to lose him that badly, huh? Go apologize to him and stop being such a girl."

"You sound so gay, Delirious. Evan's fucking mad at you and all you think about is how shy you are. You hurt him, please remember that."

Jonathan scratched his head and stared at the ceiling. His friends were right. He should sod his sadness off and go ahead and apologize to Evan. He never imagined losing the man. He held him dearly in his heart and just the thought of them never talking again killed him. He needed to do something. Fuck his pride, he wanted Evan back.

"Alright, guys. I can do that...I gue--"

"DON'T FUCKING GUESS IT JUST FUCKING DO IT FOR FUCK'S SAKE!" Marcel yelled and there he started to laugh with everyone, gaining the confidence to say sorry to his friend.

 

\---

 

It was a sunny day and Evan decided to wash his car, since at this hour, Jonathan might be online and playing with the other lads. He didn't want to talk to him because he was still furious about what happened. He knew it was his pride but what could he do? His friend was being an insensitive prick and he wanted to teach him a lesson by ignoring him until he couldn't take it anymore. After the incident, he spoke to no one, not even Tyler, not even Marcel. He played video games alone, sometimes he went out to play hockey with his other friends, doing his best to forget his problems and have fun. But he got sick of doing the same shit all over again so he met his Youtube friends on Skype and voice chatted with them and suddenly, he felt better. He didn't feel his best because Delirious wasn't around. He'd go offline when Jonathan came. He knew it was childish of him to do so but he just badly wanted to get away from him. Just recalling what happened made his blood boil brown. 

He was about to finish when he noticed a car stop by in front his gate. It could be his dad, or one of his friends from the hockey team, but the car didn't look familiar to him at all. He shrugged and took the sponge from the bucket, squeezing it. Cleaning his car would have been easier if his dad was there. But he lived alone. He didn't want to keep clinging on his parents, he wanted to be independent. When he was heading to the door, he heard someone call his name. He thought he was just hallucinating since he hadn't eaten breakfast yet but he heard it again. And so he turned around, only to see a nervous-looking Jonathan, standing by the gate, giving him an awkward wave. 

His eyebrows knitted in confusion. What the hell was he doing here? 

Being the nice person that he was, instead of shooing the guy away, he walked towards the gate and opened it. Jonathan was wearing his Delirious shirt and tight black jeans. He looked so feminine but it was okay. Evan thought he was adorable. 

"What are you doing here?" he asked right away when his friend finally got in. 

"U-Uhm.. look, man, I'm really thirsty. Can I have some water?" 

Evan raised an eyebrow for how the other one was acting. He was acting so goddamned comfortable and Evan kind of hated it. It was like nothing even happened! 

"Oh. Uh sure." Then he led the way. Before he could open the door, Jonathan added something else.

"I haven't eaten breakfast too. Do you mind if I eat here?"

He glanced at him and moved his head slightly on the side. "I'm sorry?"

"I'm hungry," Jonathan answered and plastered a slight smile in his lips, looking like a puppy. 

"You're acting like nothing happened and it's pissing me off, just so you know."

His friend smiled and nodded in understanding, biting his lower lip. "I know. I came here to apologize actually. But before that, can I have a glass of water now? My throat is so dry."

 

tbc


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not too long, I guess. But please do enjoy c:

_"Good morning, Mr. Fong. My dad sent me here to give you the papers you needed from yesterday?" Jonathan formally greeted the old man and as silently as he could manage, walked towards the obviously expensive mahogany table._

_The office would always leave him speechless because of how elegant it looked. The shelves were sparkling clean and the thick books in them were properly placed as if they haven't been touched. His dad told him that everything you would find in there was more important than his own life. Even the couches were well taken care of. The smell of the office was new to him. It was something a simple person like him would never describe. But he was pretty sure Evan's scent was so much better._

_Evan's perfect. Well, for him. These past few days were pure torture since the man was still avoiding him to death. He was playing with Nogla and Marcel when Evan joined in, probably wasn't aware of his presence, and greeted them. He heard Marcel cough and told Evan that he was there with them and silence was heard and a few moments later, Evan left. It was a big slap in the face for Jonathan. It was rude, it was too much, but he couldn't do anything because he was still blaming himself for the loss of friendship. Nogla and Marcel cheered him up and he reassured them that he was completely fine, that he was used to it already, but at the middle of his speech, his voice cracked, yet he was still able to manage not to cry his heart out. Marcel pretended that he didn't hear and continued to chase after Nogla's character and when Tyler came, he forgot what happened._

_"Thank you, Jonathan. Kindly place those papers over here," Mr. Fong said and went back to signing the papers that he was facing. Jonathan bit his upper lip gently as he walked and slowly put the papers down, secretly glancing at the older man. He looked exactly like Evan, but the older version, of course._

_"Do you need something else?"_

_Jonathan reluctantly smiled and scratched his head, with his eyebrows meeting. He could do this. He shouldn't be a pussy! If he wanted his friend back, then he should be able to do what his friends suggested him to. And that was to ask for Evan's address._

_"Uhm, well, I kind of fought with Evan... And he's really mad at me and I don't want to lose him because he's my best friend. So, uhm, I am here to also ask for his address so I can visit him and apologize and maybe get him back because he's really good at avoiding me and I can't take it anymore, Mr. Fong. So please..." He begged and looked at the other one in a serious manner. Tyler said that if he did that, then without a doubt, he'd be getting what he wanted._

_"You and my son fought? Over what?" Mr. Fong asked and raised an eyebrow. Was he really asking him that question? This old man's curiosity was like a 7-yr old's._

_"It's all my fault. I just... I don't know. But please let me have his address. This is really important to me, Mr. Fong... Please..."_

 

\---

 

Evan was the exact opposite of his dad. As he stepped inside the house, the living room caught his attention for how messy it was. The table which was located at the very middle was cluttered with books, a few cans of beer and energy drinks. The couch was filled with books as well and crumpled papers. He frowned, finding it hard to believe that the amazing Evan was not the clean type of person. Unlike his dad who was really strict when it comes to cleanliness. 

"S-Sorry for the intrusion," Jonathan said and took a look at Evan who walked past by him with a white towel hung over his shoulder. The latter just gave him a nod and made his way to the kitchen area. He moved forward to see what the kitchen looked like and was taken aback when it was surprisingly clean, VERY clean. Everything was in order. 

"I haven't cooked yet," Evan suddenly spoke, raising his head to stare at him, giving him recognition, and he silently gulped, cursing himself for being such a girl.

"O-Oh, uh... I see. Uhm-"

"What do you want to have?" the other one asked as he turned to open the refrigerator. "I will cook so tell me what you want for breakfast."

Jonathan bit his lower lip. "Well, aren't you mad at me?" 

He wanted to smack himself for asking that. Evan was being nice to him and all and how dare he to even open up the real reason of his visit. He came there to apologize, not to make the man cook for him. He was being an utter idiot, and him acting like nothing happened was clearly not good. Evan already told him that it was annoying. 

Evan closed the fridge with two eggs in his hand and Jonathan heard him sigh. He hoped he wouldn't kick him out. 

"I was. I am. I was. I don't know, I'm not sure." The taller man glanced at him and raised the eggs. "Will these be okay? I'm going to make fried rice."

"Yes please," he answered and sat down on a stool, picking up a green apple from a bowl on the table. He was about to take a bite when he forgot he hasn't asked Evan's permission to have it. "Do you mind?"

He shrugged. "Not at all." 

Jonathan looked at him crack the eggs open and put spices in them, mixing them in a gentle manner. His eyes landed on Evan's face which he adored the most. His friend was concentrating on what he was doing and he was thankful for that because then he had all his chances of staring at the man. He wondered why the hell Evan hadn't got a girlfriend yet. Or maybe he already has and he just didn't want to tell?

His heart ached a little when he thought of him having a girlfriend. He didn't want it, but the possibility was just so huge so the pain struck his chest a bit more, slowly killing his good vibes. He shook his head and groaned, biting the apple hard, and he swore he heard his teeth and gums call him a bitch for doing that. Man, he was probably that hungry that he was starting to hallucinate things.

"So, you live alone?" Jonathan asked, initiating a nice conversation. He wanted to hear Evan talk, he wanted to hear his voice so it could soothe his aching heart and calm him down from receiving negative thoughts.

"Isn't it obvious?" 

"W-Well, I thought... uhm never mind. Why is your living room so messy, by the way?"

Evan chuckled and crinkled his nose, enjoying the scent of what he was cooking. He added green peas and carrots in it and he was back to concentrating on his activity, forgetting to answer the question. Jonathan thought the other one didn't really want to talk so he let it go and just focused on the apple he was munching on. 

He kind of felt sad, deep inside, because he might be close to Evan but there were still things that he had yet to know about him. Like what would he be busy with if he wasn't online to play video games with them or if he was out to play hockey with his other friends. He was still a mystery. 

"I don't usually use the living room, actually. It's messy because I haven't cleaned yet and you came here without telling me," Evan finally answered and announced that he was done cooking, bringing a huge bowl filled with what he just cooked and Jonathan sniffed and sniffed because damn it smelled so fucking good! 

"Oh, I see," he said and eyed Evan's hands as he put the bowl on the table carefully, drooling over it. "It looks so good!"

"Thanks. Help yourself."

Jonathan certainly did help himself because he was too hungry already and the embarrassment he felt from his abrupt arrival at Evan's humble abode disappeared. He was enjoying the fried rice, and the sole fact that the apple of his eye cooked it added to his joy. He felt very special and he internally screamed, thanking himself for coming over uninvited since he was pretty sure Evan would have rejected him right away had he asked. 

"This is great, I love this," he happily commented and ate some more, tasting the green peas as he chewed.

"So, let us hear you now, Delirious." Evan placed his spoon on the right side of his plate and took his glass, raising it to his lips. 

"Hear me what?" he curiously asked with his eyebrows up.

"Your apology, what else?" the other one said, muffled against the rim. 

"O-Oh..." he whispered and reached out for his own glass filled with juice, drinking the liquid straight up. He almost forgot about that one. The butterflies had visited him once again and he cursed in his thoughts, shooing them away for now he couldn't concentrate. He had already practiced his speech before he even came there so this should be easy. But as soon as he opened his mouth to start, his mind went completely blank.

"E-Evan, uhm..." _Well fuck this_. "Look, I'm really, really, really, sorry for saying those horrible things to you. I just... I was so ashamed of what I had done. I know that I am a massive pussy but I really do hope you understand. I told you I didn't want to meet you because you know, I was really scared. I mean, I am not even that attractive and I don't look good unlike you and the rest of our friends. I was scared you'd laugh at my appearance, man." 

There. He said it. He just said it. Although it wasn't the speech he worked on last night, at least the very thought was there. He was indeed scared of how Evan would have reacted if they had met, if he had told him he had moved to Canada. And maybe he would have told the others how unattractive he really was. He saw Evan put his glass down and massaged his forehead, obviously annoyed. 

Oh, crap. He forgot.

He forgot Evan was different. Evan wasn't an asshole, his presence wasn't an asshole, and he loved Jonathan like a brother, a close friend, a family. He would have never cared, he would have accepted him fully without any judgments at all. He would have treated him food and they would have enjoyed a day together, being the best friends that they always were. Evan was a very nice person and even if he had killed him purposely in game, he still respected him. 

"You really did think of those shit? What do you think of me, a douchebag?" Evan asked him and pain was visible in his eyes. Of course he was hurt. Jonathan just thought he was a bad person. "Dude, I am not that mean. You are my best friend and I personally do not think you're ugly. You look good, and you're a nice person. Who would ever think you're ugly? Because you're not, come on."

Jonathan chewed on his upper lip and nodded. "I'm sorry. I didn't really mean to hurt your feelings that day. I regretted it. How could you even ignore me for a whole month? You're so mean."

"I was mad. Would you rather have me punch you in the face?" 

He quickly shook his head. "Fuck, no."

"See? I was mad that's why I ignored you. I was offended and hurt. I also thought you didn't want to be my friend anymore so you could say I planned to end our friend-"

Jonathan held Evan's arm tightly and pleaded. "Please no. You're my best friend and I don't want to lose you. Don't end our friendship."

The other one looked at his hand which was wrapped around his arm and back at his face. "Uh it's alright, Delirious. We're okay now. We're friends again." He then tapped his hand and gave him a shy smile. Jonathan wanted to cry at the sight. Evan looked so bloody fantastic and how badly he wanted to kiss him.

NO!

He then pulled his hand back and went back to his bowl of fried rice. What the fuck did he just do? He just gripped his best friend's arm and that was just so gay. He secretly hoped Evan didn't think that he really was gay because he wouldn't have the doubt to commit suicide. No one should ever find out about his sexuality. Not his friends, they would abandon him, for sure. 

_What if they didn't?_

"So, Jonathan, what are your plans for today?" Evan asked and stood up from his seat, picking up the empty bowl in front of him. "I'm done eating, by the way. So finish yours up."

"God, you eat like Flash. I don't even think I can finish this. But it's really delicious, I must say," he cheekily said and kept chewing. "As to your question, I have no plans. What about you?"

His friend was at the sink, washing his hands and humming a song. It was his outro song a few years back. What was the title of that song again? Ah yeah, Alcohol by TimeFlies. He remembered memorizing the song to impress Evan but he failed to do so because he sucked at speaking too fast. He ended up stuttering and fucking the song up. So he stopped and gave up.

"I am going out. Mall, maybe. I ran out of eggs. Do you want to come? And oh, you love chocolate chip cookies, right? I can buy you some for free."

Jonathan's eyes glowed like starts in the sky after hearing what Evan had said. He nodded happily and was determined now to finish his fried rice. So it was a date! He was going to have Evan for today and he was beyond happy! He had always wished for this moment to come. 

"Ok, Evan. But I brought my dad's car. What am I going to do about it?" he asked.

"You drive it?"

"Oh..." Jonathan felt his cheeks burn. He thought Evan would invite him to go ride his car instead and leave his car at his garage and maybe get back to it after the date. 

_Date, my ass. You can hug a cactus now, you hallucinating fuck._

"So are you done? Just leave your plate there and wait for me. I have to change clothes," Evan said and before Jonathan could respond, he was already out of sight.

_I wanted to see his body one more time geez._

"Damn Delirious, you're slowly turning into a pervert," he whispered to himself and sighed. A few seconds later, Evan came back with a green shirt on and jeans on. And Jonathan had to remind himself to breathe because he might have forgotten when he saw his friend play with the keys and whistling at the same time.

He opened the door of his car only to be halted by Evan who yelled out his name. "Don't forget to wear your seat belt on! You suck at driving, I must remind you!"

Jonathan laughed and raised a middle finger at the other one. "Fuck you, that only happens in GTA V, you fucking bitch!"

Evan laughed too and shushed him. "No cursing, the neighbors are quite sensitive!"

"Yes sir, yes sir!" After the moments of bickering and insulting each other, they both got in their cars and headed to the mall.

 

\---

 

"Wait, wait, wait. Tyler, are you serious about this?" Marcel asked and gave his friend a death glare. The two of them were having a Skype call with their webcams on and for tonight, their topic was Delirious.

He was really bored so he decided to invite Tyler to skype with him and since the other one wasn't doing anything, he agreed and there they talked about a lot of things. From girls to countries, then skin diseases to tissue papers, until the topic landed on their other friend, Jonathan, who was having a problem with Evan. Marcel was laughing with a mug in his hand when Tyler suddenly said, "You know, I personally think Delirious is gay."

His eyes widened and he hissed at Tyler, telling him to shut up because that wasn't true and Delirious was a huge fan of titties and pussies. There was no freaking way he was gay. That guy could probably fuck 50 girls for just one night only. That was just ridiculous to hear.

"I am serious," Tyler deadpanned and scratched his cheek. "I just...I noticed it, you know."

"H-How?!" 

"I also think he likes Evan..." His friend continued and then shrugged. "But then again, who wouldn't like Evan, right? That guy's a fucking tank haha!"

Marcel had to laugh at that one because he agreed 100% that Evan was very muscular and huge. "Fuck you, Tyler haha! But back to Delirious. ARE YOU FUCKING SURE HE'S GAY?! That's too impossible!"

"Alright, let me recall some moments. Hmm... ok, remember that time we played GMOD and the only prop Delirious hunted was Evan? And even if he was a prop, Evan was the only hunter that-"

"Oh fuck yes, I do remember that. But isn't that normal? Like they do it all the time?" 

"No, you fucktit. It is not normal ok? And they certainly do not do that all the time. Ok, remember that GTA V video Evan uploaded where he switched bodies with Delirious? Did you watch that?"

Marcel nodded. "Yes I did. There was a scene where Delirious called Evan beautiful, something like that. But I'm sure he was referring to Evan's Delirious' model."

"And also a scene where Delirious did the fapping gesture, using Vanoss' model..."

"It's normal, Tyler," he snorted and shrugged. "Delirious is not gay alright. He's straight. He likes girls."

Tyler poked his tongue out at Marcel. "I am going to ask him myself. Even if Delirious is gay, I still love the man."

"True. We are all gay, you, Tyler, the gayest," and Marcel cracked a laugh, earning a glare from Tyler who turned his webcam off then on then off and then on.

"Fuck you, Marcel. Hahaha and seriously, I will ask Delirious next time. Just to make sure. What do you think?"

"It's fine. Just don't be straightforward or you'll freak him out. That guy's very sensitive. Like a baby."

"Well, Marcel, babies don't freak out if you ask them "Are you gay, baby?"" Tyler rolled his eyes at him and yawned. "I'm going to head to sleep. I'm tired and I have some stuff to do tomorrow. Night, dude. See you."

"Yeah see you when I see you." And he hung up. He still found it weird why Tyler thought Delirious was gay. Maybe there was really something he just couldn't comprehend that Tyler could but whatever it was, he loves Delirious and he would still accept him.

 

\---

 

"Mr. Fong! How may I help you, Sir?" George, Jonathan's father, stood up and arranged the papers on his table which were scattered everywhere. He was reading some of them and he had to admit, it was hard to adjust. Most of the employees liked him and he was grateful for that but the ambiance was somehow different from what he had back in North Carolina. He was just probably overwhelmed.

"George. I wanted to talk to you about something."

As usual, Mr. Fong sounded strict. Before his meeting with the older man, he had already heard from the workers that he was a monster, something like that. That his voice could be compared to an angry thunder with a flash of lightning. That the tone of his voice could turn their knees into water. And they were damn right, because he could feel his insides twitch.

"What is it, Mr. Fong?"

"Well, my wife wanted you and your family to come this Sunday at Banff where we usually hold our family day. It's her birthday and since your son is best friends with Evan, I thought it would be better if you guys could come."

George smiled and nodded. "Of course, Sir. I'll inform them once I get home." He saw Mr. Fong smile as well and walked towards the door, waving a hand at him before disappearing. He might be strict when it comes to work but that man was one hell of a good friend, too. 

 

tbc

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! Uni killed me :( I hate thesis so much.

Evan arrived first and stood outside his car, leaning against it while waiting for Jonathan who was still stuck in traffic. Before they left, he asked for his friend's number right away just in case something happened. Jonathan was reluctant at giving it at first, seeing how his face turned into something unpleasant, yet gave it anyway. He wondered what the problem was but he decided to just give it up since he didn't want to argue with the other one anymore. They just reconciled, thanks to Jonathan who really wasted his time to visit him, eat breakfast with him, and apologize for what happened. He didn't think they'd be okay once again for he promised to himself he wouldn't be the one to come and say sorry to his friend. Talk about his pride that got in the way and stayed there.

He frowned as he remembered the content of Jonathan's apology. He would admit it was somehow pathetic. The reason of their fight was very pathetic (Oh Delirious was so scared that he would make fun of his face once they met so he lied about moving). He tsk-ed and glanced at his wrist watch, shaking his head in the process and worrying about Jonathan because he hadn't arrived yet. Was the traffic really that bad?

The first time he met Delirious he wanted to laugh. Not because he thought he was an ugly motherfucker but because his voice matched his appearance. The other one's voice was a no joke. It was definitely weird but special at the same time. His voice was common, Tyler's voice was common, his friends' voices were common, but Jonathan's was different. He couldn't even elaborate. At first he thought that it was because of his microphone but when he finally heard it, he was wrong. His voice online and his voice in real life were just the same.

The sound of tires screeching ripped him away from his thoughts. He looked up and saw a mad Jonathan getting out of his car and angrily closing the door, kicking the tire as well. His frown turned into an amazed kind of smile.

"Canada.traffic.can.suck.my.dick.fuck.Canada!" Jonathan muttered in anger as he kept kicking the tire. Evan understood what he was feeling because even he himself hated the traffic. It would take him like an hour to get out of one.

"Hey don't say bad shit about Canada. Canada is good," he responded as he walked towards Jonathan with his hands stuffed in his pocket. The latter turned around and frowned even more, slowly standing properly and sighing deeply.

"Sorry, I really didn't mean to say that. I just...like seriously Evan, Canada traffic can go to hell," Jonathan said and smiled at him sheepishly. "Sorry, I'm late, by the way."

He tapped the other one's shoulder and let his hand stay there. He felt his friend squirm for a second.

"It's alright. Let's go," he cheerfully guided his friend towards the entrance of the mall.

\----

  
"Would you like to have pizza for dinner?" Evan asked and glanced to his right to see his friend who was busy getting tissue papers from their rightful stall. He saw Jonathan nod and he couldn't help but laugh because the latter got 6 rolls and he thought it was very much obvious on where he would use them on.

"Oh my god Delirious, you've got to be kidding me. Don't be a show-off, man haha!" he laughed and grabbed his cart as he made his way to the other one who elbowed him right away when he was close.

"Shut the fuck up. These are meant for my late night movies," Jonathan said and sent him a death glare. "I am serious."

He smirked and playfully raised his eyebrows. "Oh? You mean late night man activity."

"Fuck you, Vanoss. I am not like you."

"Really though, what are those tissue rolls for?"

Jonathan placed them in the cart he was grabbing on and huffed. "Like I said, for my late night movies. I sometimes watch dramas and like...I cry easily, you see, so I always make sure I have these right next to me."

Evan chuckled. "Haha a brand new information about Delirious. Glad to know, man, glad to know. Those papers are properly used then, eh."

"You can fuck off, you know," Jonathan angrily muttered and stepped away from him, now heading towards the cookies section. He laughed and followed the steps his friend made who still had his arms against his chest. He eyed the latter's back and replaced his laugh with a tad smile. Never did he think Jonathan was this skinny. Well, he's not really that skinny. But he's small compared to his size. Like if he just randomly bumped himself against the man, he'd be flying away from him. 

"Are you going to buy your favorite cookies?" he asked and stopped at a corner, picking up a box of peanut butter-flavored cookies. He heard Jonathan hum and he nodded, placing the box into the cart. It was a new product that he wanted to try. 

"I couldn't find the cookies. I think they're out of stock?"

 

\---

 

"I am so hungry," Jonathan, with his hand on his stomach, patting it gently, repeated the same statement for the ninth time.

Evan bit his lower lip and looked everywhere. He was positive that his favorite restaurant was just somewhere on that floor where they decided to stop by and he was already planning that morning to eat lunch there but since his friend came over, he wanted to treat him, too. He got the other one's attention by kicking his left foot. He found the restaurant.

"What?" Jonathan asked and raised an eyebrow. "Look, dude, I have no time for jokes right now so if you could kindly tell me why you kicked my foot?"

He chuckled softly and held the shopping bags tightly. "I'll show you my favorite restaurant."

He heard his friend snort and mumble some words that he couldn't even comprehend. His eyebrows knitted in confusion and turned to face him. 

"What did you just say?" he asked. 

Jonathan groaned and crossed his arms. "I have no time for sight-seeing, Evan. I am fucking hungry and I have no fucking time to spare on seeing your favorite restaurant."

Evan licked his lower lip to calm himself down because he certainly had no idea that Delirious could be this sassy! He was being a bitch, a girl, who would whine all the time for the sake of getting attention and that's like one of the things he'd never ask for. 

"Okay, Delirious. I get that. But I meant we'd be eating there as well. So can you calm your shit down and please, stop acting like a girl who's on her period, geez."

His friend's face lit up and Evan was ready to smack his head and beat him up in front of the crowd. He was hungry too and his patience had already left him. So he also had no time to be nice.

"You should have said so, man. Let's go then and let's hurry the fuck up!" the other one happily replied and even had the balls to walk first, leaving him behind. When he didn't move, Jonathan yelled his name and signaled him to run. Oh, the nerve of this piece of shit!

 

\---

 

Jonathan happily held the menu as if it was his life as he busied himself on deciding what to eat. Steak was perfect but he needed more than that. Not feeling ashamed since it was Evan's treat, he looked at the other one who was now talking to the waitress, smiling at the lady who he thought was cute and he couldn't help but feel a tad jealous. Both of them were still talking when he purposely coughed a little loud and pointed at the food he wanted to order. It was the only way to distract Evan from having a conversation with a lady whom he didn't like right away. Evan thanked her and secretly eyed her butt as she strode away, making him angry this time. But he did his best to give his friend a smile when he glanced back at him. If only Evan knew that the smile meant he badly wanted to strangle him and slit his throat for flirting with a waitress in front of him.

Jonathan played with the table cloth with his index finger gliding smoothly along his jaw down to his chin.

"'You like her?" he asked and watched Evan raise a shoulder. What did the gesture even mean? That he found her cute? Or ugly? Both? He licked his upper lip and chuckled slightly. "I think she's hot."

Of course he was lying. Evan's the hottest creature ever, for him. And a lady, really? He fought the urge to punch the table and grab Evan by the shoulders to shake him and tell him about his feelings for the other one. That would surely create a show. He also felt like slapping the waitress across the face and shove her into the oven. Look what jealousy did to him. He was thinking like a serial killer. 

"She's cute. Her ass is great too," Evan casually responded and gave him a thumbs up. 

"You're such a bitch," he laughed as he answered to hide the burning jealousy he was still feeling in his chest. 

"So are you. Hahah you're like worse than me, mind you. You ordered a lot, though. This is abuse!" 

He giggled and couldn't help but stare at Evan and the latter stared back at him. His heart skipped a beat! He quickly looked away and focused on the cloth he was touching, screaming in his mind that he was being a silly fucker again. He shoo-ed the butterflies residing in his stomach, doing what they had to do and that was to tickle his insides until he puked them out.

"So, Delirious, how's Canada? Do you think it's fine?" Evan asked and made sounds by tapping his fingers on the table. 

"Yeah, it's great, to be honest. What happened earlier sure is an exception, though. Fuck, that was the worst traffic I have encountered in my 22 years of existence," he hissed and breathed through his nose, hearing Evan's cackle right after. "Why are you laughing at me?"

"Because you sound funny. I really miss you, Delirious. Like that whole month of us not talking? It did hurt. I got used to us playing with our friends everyday. But when we avoided each other, it's gotten boring," Evan softly said and smiled at him. He smiled back at his friend and to avoid being asked if he was gay because he was damn positive his heart would leap out of his chest, he leaned forward a little to punch Evan.

"Hey, no punching geez!"

He poked out his tongue at the other one. "You were the only one avoiding so don't include me, you idiot."

"Well...you have a point haha. Sorry it's just that--"

"Here's your order!"

Both of them looked up to see the waitress with their orders. Evan acted like he was going to help but another waiter came to help her. It turned out that she was taken by him and Jonathan was so happy he congratulated the two, earning a glare from Evan who faked a smile, anyway.

The lovers went back to their duty after and Jonathan started to enjoy his orders, chewing carefully so that he would avoid being choked on his own food. 

"Their steak is great, man. I love this," he commented and shoved a piece in his mouth, doing the "nomnom" sound just to annoy Evan who happened to be raising his upper lip in disgust at him.

"You should stop doing that. I'm starting to lose my appetite."

He swallowed loudly on purpose to piss him off even more. "So what? That only means I could get to finish your food haha."

"I hope you choke on--"

Jonathan began to cough and Evan's cheeky laughter mixed with his. This man even had the audacity to make fun of him! He was still coughing when his friend offered him a glass of cold water that he drank straight up, calming his senses. He thanked Evan, receiving a nod in return.

"Eat slowly."

 

\---

 

It was raining hard when they finished their dinner. They didn't have umbrellas with them since they weren't prepared for the sudden rain. All Evan heard from Jonathan as they walked out of the restaurant after paying the bill was "I fucking hate this shit, Vanoss, I fucking hate this shit" and even if he didn't like the statement since he was a fan of the rain, he didn't stop Jonathan from whining. He liked it somehow. His friend sounded like he was singing together with the thunder, the lightning served as the background design.

Their clothes were already wet when they reached the parking lot. Even his shopping bags looked like they were giving up so he held onto them tightly, opening his car door and shoving them in the passenger’s seat. Meanwhile, Jonathan was pissed because he couldn’t find the right key to open the door. Evan shook his head and let the rain do its job while he kept watch on the other one. At last, he found it, after a minute of loud curses.

“Hey Delirious,” he yelled. Jonathan glanced at him. “You head up straight to my house ok?”

Jonathan nodded and gave him the middle finger sign before he got inside his car, probably disgusted by the rain teasing his pale skin. Evan could only shake his head with a grin on his lips, following his friend on the road.

By the time they arrived, the rain fell a bit harsher; which made Jonathan angrier and Evan happier. He surprisingly loved hearing his friend curse and mumble words he couldn’t comprehend.

“I take it back. What I said at the restaurant? Canada can suck my cock, Vanoss!” Jonathan screamed and tugged at his hair, releasing soft cries on how he despise the rain so much (once again).

Evan placed the shopping bags on the kitchen table, taking the products out one by one. “As if you have one.”

“You can suck my cock, too, if you want, you stupid shit.”

“Haha no thanks. I wouldn’t want to disappoint myself,” Evan smirked and walked towards the stairs. “Wait here and I’ll get you a towel.”

“Wait what? No, I’ll go home now, man.”

Evan hissed. “The rain’s being a whore right now, Delirious. Don’t be stubborn. You don’t want to die early, do you?”

Jonathan shrugged. “Alright, I get it. Now go get me a towel. And a new shirt and shorts, please.”

“Pajamas, you mean. I have a lot in my room. Wait a minute,” said Evan and ascended the stairs carefully because his socks were disgustingly wet.

\---

Jonathan shivered as the cold began to run from his nape down to his spines. He halted himself from clattering his teeth. He didn’t want Evan to see him like that. Breathing heavily to get rid of the chilliness, he wrapped his arms around his sides, his thoughts going back to the fact that he was going to sleep in his crush’s home! He shook his head, a smile escaping from his lips as he imagined himself sleeping in Evan’s bed. He wondered how comfy it would be, how Evan would give him comfort by probably hugging him to keep him from the coldness, and how his body would react to the warmth from the latter’s body.

His cheeks turned red and he had to calm himself down. He was just so gay, he needed to stop. He was exaggerating too as if everything on his mind would happen. He had to remind himself once in a while that Evan was straight. He even flirted with the waitress back at the restaurant.

Evan came back with a towel on his shoulder and a pair of pajamas on his left arm. He slowly stood up, obviously freezing because he looked like he was having a seizure when Evan walked closer. His friend apologized for taking too long. He dressed himself up too. He was so gorgeous with his own pajamas. He reminded Jonathan of the teddy bear he was attached too in the game Dead Rising. He looked adorable that all he wanted to do was hug Evan.

“Here you go. The bathroom’s right there,” said Evan and pointed at a door right in a corner. He nodded and got the clothes from him as quickly as possible for he was still blushing and it would be very obvious since his skin’s pale.

After he changed, Evan was no longer in the living room. His eyebrows furrowed because he wasn’t sure if he should go upstairs or not. He wasn’t that rude to act very comfortably in the latter’s house. He stood there like an idiot for about 4 minutes when he heard a sound of footsteps climbing down the stairs.

“What are you still doing there? Come up here, I’ll lead you to your room.”

Jonathan showed a shy smile and scratched his head. “I’m sorry. I thought I’d be sleeping here in the living room.”

Evan frowned and shoved a hand in his left pocket. “Well you’re not. I’m your best friend. Why would I let you sleep on a couch?”

His brain was giving him silly ideas again. Did Evan’s statement mean he’d be sleeping on his bed with the two of them hugging to give each other warmth?

“Oh so uh where am I staying then? Your room?” he asked carefully. Evan laughed a little and started to go back upstairs.

“Follow me, Delirious.”

He bit his lower lip and followed Evan who stopped in front of a white door. He watched him turn the doorknob and open it. He peeked and was amazed at how the room was very clean and how the things inside were very much organized. Unlike the living room which was a mess.

“Evan, this is your room?”

Disappointment slapped him across the face when Evan shook his head. Well, about time. He had his hopes up like a bitch and this was what he got from thinking too much shit that was obviously impossible to happen. Oh how he loved to squeeze his own balls at the moment.

“This is the guest room. It’s nice and clean, isn’t it? Inside, you go. Don’t worry. I’ll be at my room, reading a book. So if you need help, you can just knock.”

He nodded. “Yeah, sure, man. Thank you so much. I owe you,” he smiled, even if deep inside he was mourning.

“Wait, you’re not afraid of thunders, right?” Evan asked and eyed him carefully. He shook his head right away. He wanted to show Evan that he was a tough man.

“I’m only afraid of tornadoes haha! I’ll be fine, Vanoss. Thanks once again, and I’ll see you in the morning,” he said and went inside the room, waiting for Evan to start walking before he closed the door. He leaned against and sighed deeply. No more chances of them sleeping together on the bed. How sad…

 

\---

Evan was in his room, editing videos for him to upload later. It was a GMOD Prop Hunt video and he couldn’t wait to be done with it. It was a really funny one and even if Delirious wasn’t in it, he still anticipated to have his subscribers see it. Terroriser was the main star in it, doing his techno voice once again and them playing in public servers. Fans called them faketards since they didn’t believe that it was them. When Marcel started to voice chat and call everybody bitches, that’s when they freaked out and greeted them. But they just laughed and left the server. They really didn’t want to play in public servers because that would cause too much trouble. It would be such a hassle, too. They had their own private servers.

When he was done editing, he felt the thirst camping in his throat. He was about to grab a bottle of water right next to his laptop when he found out that he actually forgot to bring it with him earlier. He clucked his tongue and stood up from his seat, leaving his room. As he passed by the guest room where Jonathan was staying, loud thunder claps were heard. It hurt his ears too much but that didn’t hinder him from hearing weird noises from Jonathan’s room. He leaned his ear against the door and he listened intently to the sounds. They were still there. He was curious and worried at the same time because he was sure it was Jonathan. He knocked on the door but there was no answer from his friend. After knocking five times, he decided to just get inside to check up on Jonathan. He didn’t bother turning the lights on as he trailed the path towards the bed, where his friend was curled up into a ball with the blanket wrapped around him. Every thunder clap, noises would be heard. Could it be Jonathan was scared of the thunder? Did he just lie earlier when he said he wasn’t afraid of it?

Evan placed a hand on the bed with the other one on Jonathan’s knee. Holy shit, he was shaking!

“Delirious… Delirious, it’s me, Evan. Hey, Delirious…” he softly said and shook his friend to get his attention and to also distract him from being scared.

“N-No… Go away, Vanoss. Leave me the fuck a-alone…” Jonathan replied shakily, definitely frightened.

When he tried to shake the other one again, the thunder claps did it shit again, scaring Jonathan even more. But he didn’t expect what happened right after that. Jonathan had already pulled him down the bed and hugged him tightly; his friend’s face was pressed against his chest and his elbows supporting his weight on the bed. And he was now the worried one because he wasn’t sure on how to react to it.

 

tbc

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Finally. So I'm back, guys! I'll be updating more since I'm done with uni and hnngg I passed my oral defense :3 I'll be graduating College this October and I'm really excited! Thank you so much for patiently waiting. It means a lot! And I hope you will still read this multi-chaptered fic. I'm sorry for the long wait, really. I feel so horrible.
> 
> Anyway, you'd probably wonder why it's not that long. I purposely did it, just to let you guys know, to keep the thrill in every chapter. To spoil y'all, the next chapter would be filled with too much Vanoss/Delirious. Well, hurt!Delirious by that because I just love angst so much and it's about time to hurt Delirious D:
> 
> To the people on tumblr who bothered to message me, thank you :3

\---

 

"D-Delirious?" Evan softly asked as he carefully eyed the man whose arms were tightly wrapped around his back. When he heard him whimper, he mentally groaned. He knew their position was really strange and all but he could really care less. The worry he felt for his friend got stronger. Who would even have thought Jonathan was scared of thunderstorms? He slowly tried to use his right elbow to support his weight and move away from Jonathan but he he felt him hold tighter. 

"Hey, Delirious. You need to let go. I might end up squishing you, man..." he said and eyed his friend. "Come on, let go now..."

He felt his arms leaving his waist and he was not sure if the other one was awake or maybe he was dreaming of something and he might have heard what he said in the dream. He breathed a sigh of relief, carefully getting up from lying down on top of Jonathan. He suddenly felt cold when his skin didn't touch the latter's. He glanced to the left only to see that the aircon was not even on. His attention went back to Jonathan and he wrapped the blanket around him, up to his chin. It was really cold and he didn't want him to get sick in the morning.

He rubbed his palms together as he silently headed towards the door. He gave Jonathan a quick glance before leaving the room.

 

\---

 

When he was twelve, the closet became his best friend every time it rained hard. He didn't have anyone to run to since his parents were always busy with work. But never did he complain about it because he would remind himself that them being hardworking were all for him. Everything they did was for him. It was hard if he had to be honest since at such a young age, his parents should have been by his side, taking care of him and showing him affection. His pillows and his closet became his friends when he learned about how scary thunder claps were and how they could easily turn him into water. He didn't think it was possible to fear anything for his father told him never to let something scare him and he grew up having that sort of mentality. But it did happen and he felt helpless. There were no hands to be reached and warm bodies to wrap his arms around. He kept it as a secret. When rain came, he would head straight inside the closet and stay there until it went away. Together with his favorite teddy bear, he would press his sweaty palms against his ears, wishing for the thunder to disappear. It might have been a crazy memory to remember, but he tagged it along with him. 

Jonathan had a bad dream. He was being chased by a horrendous monster which had a pair of red eyes in the woods where it was raining really hard. The soil was very soft that he fell down a couple of times and that was the part where he got terrified so much. It was very dark but he knew he was surrounded by trees for the smell of leaves lingered. He found it hard to stand up because his feet got stuck and that was when he started to sob, calling out his mum and his dad. No answer was heard. He tried to scream their names once again and silence answered him. He sniffed and remembered Evan. He was with Evan. He cried his name out for a million times but no help arrived. Then he awoke with a loud yelp.

"Hah!" he wailed and looked around him, trying to see if the monster was real and if it was there. He gulped loudly before he rubbed his eyes and covered his face with both hands, suddenly wanting to cry. He felt like a baby, but he couldn't blame himself for being that weak since he grew up with nobody's help. Of course, he was financially supported, but affection and love from parents? He would say pass. He calmed himself down and did his best to regain his consciousness back. 

The room was already bright, he noticed, as he slowly got up from the bed. It also smelled like orange and he had to smile slightly. He had always loved the scent, aside from strawberry. He would tell his mum to not forget to purchase Glade products when she went out to shop. He glanced at his wrist watch. It was already 10 o'clock in the morning and his eyes gradually widened. He had overslept. He remembered sleeping at exactly 9 PM, thankfully, where it was still raining really hard. Normally, he would have found it very difficult to sleep but he felt really secure. Oh well, probably it was because he was in Evan's house. 

Jonathan shrieked like a banshee when he heard the door open. He couldn't blame himself because the dream was still on his mind. He quickly turned around to see it was and suddenly felt stupid because who else would it be?

"V-Vano--Hey, Evan..." he muttered softly. "G-Good morning." The atmosphere didn't help. It was awkward.

"Good morning, Delirious," Evan responded and smiled at him. "Did you sleep well?"

He scratched his head and sighed. "I guess so. I overslept." 

"Oh, that's great then! I was really worried about you last night, man. You didn't tell me you were scared of thunder. You could have, Delirious."

Jonathan's eyebrows furrowed in curiosity. "Wait what? How did you---How did you know?"

Evan snorted. "I heard you last night. I was about to go downstairs to get a glass of water but then you were moaning so I got worried and decided to check up on you. You even hugged me!"

His eyes widened in panic as he tried to remember what happened. He couldn't grasp an image of him hugging Evan and he was probably THAT asleep to recall the scenes. That his fear of thunder swallowed him and he ended up falling asleep, instead of getting scared like a child. He bit his inner cheeks and looked at Evan who was still eyeing him seriously. 

"W-Well...thanks for your concern. And yeah, I'm scared of thunder. Sorry about that, Vanoss. I didn't mean to keep it as a secret from you," he sincerely apologized and smiled sheepishly at his friend who sighed.

"It's alright. But really, you could have told me so. I kind of feel bad because I left you. I could have hugged you the whole night, even if it sounds a bit gay, but I would have done it for you."

He blushed and to hide it from being so obvious, he walked to his friend and punched his arm gently. "You're gay haha! Thanks, though."

Evan smirked. "Me? Gay? Maybe it's you? Because you're scared of thunderstorms haha!"

 _Or maybe because I like you so much..._ he thought and rolled his eyes, instead, clearly giving Evan NO. 

Jonathan saw Evan's eyes sparkle for a second but he let it go. Maybe he was just imagining things? He was actually thinking that he did have a good sleep because there was no way he could have slept like a baby when the rain was being a bitch. He just didn't know why it happened but he would love to think that maybe the presence of Evan helped. 

"Ahuh. Hmm, the rain last night was horrible, eh?" The other one asked in a different tone. Like he knew something he didn't and that bothered Jonathan a bit. 

"Yeah, well... I just hope it doesn't happen again...The thunder claps were crazy, man," he answered and looked for his slippers. When he found them, he wore them right away because the floor was cold and his feet started to hurt.

"Hmm I hope so too," Evan answered with the same tone he had seconds ago. "Since you're very scared of them haha."

Jonathan faked a laugh and pointed at his chest with his index finger. "I am not THAT scared of them, Vanoss, please, you think so lowly of me haha. I am not, okay. In fact, they're the ones that should be very scared of me!"

Evan raised an eyebrow and smirked as he inserted a hand in his pocket. "Ahuh. Alright. Sounds convincing to me." 

"Yeah, man," and he didn't know why but there was just something different about his friend's actions. He wished he knew what Evan was thinking at that very moment. The way he smiled at him was weird, it looked threatening for a second. He raised a shoulder as a sign that he needed to stop over thinking. The fact that he had yet to know more things about this man put him at ease. He only knew that Evan loves video games and he plays hockey and things like that. He wanted more. Wanted was an understatement. He needed more facts about him. 

"So, let's go have breakfast?" 

Jonathan shook his head slowly and smiled. "Nah, I'm fine. I have to go home. I missed a lot of calls from my dad." It was actually funny because when he awoke, he looked for his phone first because he forgot to text his dad last night. He was really tired and the thunder didn't help a bit. So he decided to just tell him in the morning. He was sure the old man's worried as hell by now. 

"Alright, Delirious. And don't worry about the pajamas. You can have them. They're yours now."

Jonathan blushed. He scolded himself by biting his inner cheeks because Evan looked so fucking cute with his grey pants and white shirt--- wait a second. That shirt looked so familiar. His eyes widened in surprise when realization hit him in the face; HARD. It was his shirt! It was a Delirious shirt! He suddenly remembered that his best friend had actually ordered his shirt but the sole fact that he was wearing it at the moment made his heart skip a million beat. He was so perfect. He felt the urge to squeeze him in a tight hug and never let him go.

"Hey, you're wearing a Delirious shirt," he said and rolled his eyes when he learned he just stated the obvious. Evan chuckled and checked his shirt out, looking smug.

"I know. I look great in it, huh."

He laughed in return and wrinkled his nose. "No. Although it does look great in you. You wish, you narcissistic bitch."

"Me?! A narcissist? Wow, how could you say that?"

"Well, talk about showing your ugly face to the fans hahaha!"

Evan grinned like a devil. "Ugly face? Are you sure? Hmm..."

Of course he was only kidding. He was head over heels in love with this man who just happened to be standing right in front of him so obviously he considered him, still considers him, to be the most gorgeous man among men. He bit his inner cheeks once again to halt himself not to say sappy things because Evan might think he was gay. Well he is, but yeah, save it.

"Hahaha fuck you. Thanks for buying my shirt, though. It means a lot." 

"No problem, Delirious. It's actually a cool shirt, man. Anyway, are you going to drive home with my pajamas on?"

He hummed and shrugged. "Maybe? Well, my clothes aren't dry yet, for sure."

"I can lend you a shirt and--"

Jonathan shook his head at Evan and smiled. "It's alright, Vanoss. I'm fine. I should go now."

His friend nodded and headed towards the door. "Send my regards to your parents, okay?"

"Sure."

 

\---

 

His mother hugged him tightly when he got home that he couldn't breathe. He squirmed in her hold, giving his dad a glance who was looking at them with an amused expression written on his face. He grinned a little and gasped for air when his mum has finally loosened her embrace and reached out a hand to caress his cheek. The old woman was probably worried so much. 

"Your dad and I were worried about you, Jonathan! How dare you not call us!" his mum said and frowned at him. He offered him a sheepish smile as he scratched his head. He wished he did but he completely forgot about it since he was with Evan. Therefore, his mind and attention were all about the man. He knew it was a moment that would never happen again so he decided to spend every minute with Evan. How happy he was to find out that his friend was in his room and the thought of them hugging was enough to make him melt.

"I'm sorry, mum. I was really tired last night. I was with Evan, just so you know. So nothing to worry about had you guys known I was with him," he replied and looked at his dad. "Sorry about the missed calls, dad."

His dad nodded in understanding. "It's alright, Jonathan. So you were with Evan? Are you guys finally okay?"

"Yes, dad. I already apologised to him so we're back to being friends again."

"Good thing. Because Mr. Fong invited us to go with them to Banff."

Jonathan raised an eyebrow. "Is there an event or something?" 

"Hmm. Mrs. Fong's birthday."

"Oh..."

Jonathan made his way to his room and lazily lied down on his bed. He stared at the ceiling with an arm resting on his forehead. He was still sleepy and tired. While he was on his way to his home, he planned to go back to sleep once he reached his house but the moment the door opened, revealing his enthusiastic mother, his exhaustion left his body. 

"Ahh, I'm so sleepy," he murmured and grabbed a pillow. "Evan's mum's birthday this Sunday, huh..."

He slowly closed his eyes. He wanted to sleep the whole day, but his brain didn't let him. There he was, snuggling his pillow while imagining things he would want to happen in Banff. He felt the excitement tickling his sides, and he didn't want it to stop. It was Friday already, one more day to go and he'd get to see Evan again. Actually, he could just meet his friend tomorrow if he'd like. But it would probably be obvious that he was in love. Since he couldn't get enough of him.

"I need to stop being a chick," he bitterly said and drifted off to sleep. 

 

\---

 

Evan was pissed. He couldn't find his phone. He was sure he placed it on his desk before he went to shower but the gadget's no longer there. He glanced at his bed, growling, and began folding the sheets which he normally wouldn't do because he's lazy like that when he heard a loud bang from the floor. He quickly ran to the other side to see what it was and how glad he was to see his phone.

"Holy fuck, there you are. Don't you dare leave me again," he said as he bent over to pick it up and saw a missed call from his dad. His eyebrows met. He, then, shrugged and dialed the old man's number, patiently waiting for him to pick up. Suddenly, he heard his dad's voice on the other line.

"Hey, dad. Why did you call?" he asked and sat down on his bed, checking his nails and grimaced when he noticed his fingernails were dirty. He wondered why when he just took a shower but then he remember he was looking for his phone. Was his room that messy? Oh, time for him to clean.

"This Sunday is your mum's birthday," his dad answered and he nodded even if he knew his dad couldn't see him, anyway. "And I invited George and his family to come with us."

Evan abruptly stood up from the bed with his eyes wide open. "Wait, you invited Jonathan's dad? And, well, his mum? And...him?"

"Yes. I thought it would be more fun to have them with us. Besides, Jonathan's your best friend. Speaking of him, did you two reconcile already?"

"Ahuh. How did you know? Who told you?" 

"He dropped by my office the other day, asking for your address. He told me it was his fault that's why you guys were not in good terms," his dad replied, and he wasn't sure if he was imagining it or not, but his dad sounded like he was teasing him or something.

"W-Well, hmm. I see," and he thought of Jonathan. So he asked his dad for his address? How...cute. So he was really special to Delirious that he really took his time to go to his dad just for his address. But if he didn't do that, then they wouldn't have been fine. He would still have been ignoring his rude ass until now. 

He must admit, though, right after hearing what his dad said, he had to raise a hand just to cup his cheek because he blushed. No one had ever done that to him before, not even his ex-girlfriends. Speaking of his ex-girlfriends, they could suck his dick one more time. They were too basic, and he forgot to reason why he even dated them. It was probably because of the sex, because their personalities sure were a disappointment.

"Alright, I'm off to go to the office. I'll see you this Sunday, Evan. And don't be late or we'll leave you behind," his dad strictly said and before he could respond, the old man ended the call.

"Ooookay," he loudly stated and sat back down on his bed, slowly leaning his back on it. He felt excited. One more day to go, and he'd see Jonathan again. He didn't get to drive him home since he lacked sleep. He hoped Delirious was asleep at the moment because he knew how tired the other one was, as well, even if he already said he overslept.

"Hmm..." he hummed and recalled the last night's event.

_Right after leaving the guest room, he headed to the kitchen to get a glass of water. As he ascended the stairs, he couldn't help but give the guest room a glance, worrying about Jonathan once again. He bit his lower lip and decided to take a fluffy pillow with him, going back to where Jonathan was currently in. He couldn't imagine himself being left alone in a dark room where the thunder's being a crazy fuck, if he were in his friend's shoes._

_Evan tiptoed towards Jonathan's bed with the pillow stuck on his side. He placed it right next to the other one gently, careful of not waking him up. He knew he was intruding his privacy, but what else could he do? He couldn't just leave him alone when he knew he needed him. He wasn't that ruthless. After all, Jonathan's his best friend. And they just reconciled to top that._

_He sighed as he stared down at Jonathan's figure, seeing his chest go up and down calmly. He didn't know what made him do it but he placed a hand atop Jonathan's forehead, caressing his forehead with his thumb lightly. He heard him moan, so he removed his hand and backed a few steps away from the sleeping man. If he suddenly awoke, he'd just tell him that he heard him moan so he went in without knocking. He'd understand, right?_

_"Evan..." Jonathan whispered. He faintly called out his name that he was confused if it was his name he had heard or not. But Jonathan did it again, and this time he was positive that it was indeed his name._

_"Delirious?" he softly answered and stepped forward a little bit to take a look at the other man who still had his eyes closed. It looked like he was in a dreamy state. He wished he wasn’t having a nightmare because it’d be really terrible since he didn’t know how to console. He sucked at it so bad._

_"Evan...I---"_

 

\---

 

“You know, Marcel, I think it’s time for you to shut the fuck up,” Craig blurted out as he drove his car to the right, passing by Marcel’s Lamborghini Aventador which was on fire.

Well, as always, Delirious failed at driving. Marcel asked him to drive the car for him because he was busy eating his pizza and Delirious, who happened to be very hungry and jealous, swerved the poor car to the left, exactly right to a huge pole. Marcel must have heard the explosion since he just had to swallow the food really hard and yelled “Delirious, you retard! MY CAAAARRRR, YOU BITCH!!!” And everyone couldn’t stop laughing.

“Fuck you, MiniLaddd! Buy me a fucking lambo, you piece of shit,” Marcel replied, making everyone say “ew” because he purposely chewed his food with his mouth open.

“How about you don’t do that because it’s fucking disgusting?”

Jonathan butted in, still chuckling. “I’m really sorry, Marcel. I’m so hungry and I just---hahaha, sorry, man.”

“Hmpp, you suck so bad at driving. I mean, you even suck at driving a plane. I wonder what you’re good at, Delirious,” Marcel said and snorted when Tyler answered for Delirious.

“Giving head.”

And Marcel thought it was perfect timing, because just as Tyler finished what he was saying, Evan came online and heard what he said. He didn’t mean to see that as something cute or sweet, but the fact Delirious shut up when Evan greeted them was enough already to make him ship the two. He still wasn’t sure if what Tyler told him the other day was true, but he himself was starting to realize it.

“So what giving head were you talking about, Wildcat?” Evan asked, cackling softly in the background. Marcel grinned and waited for his friend to answer.

“Delirious set Marcel’s lambo on fire. The usual shit, man. Poor Marcel was wondering what Delirious was good at so I said that.”

“Hey, you guys are meaaaan,” Jonathan playfully said and rode his car to Wildcat’s direction, running him over.

“Did you see that? He just ran me over. But it’s alright, Delirious. You’re good at giving head, anyway.”

“Hmm…he probably is,” Evan replied and shot the other one in the head, avenging Wildcat.

“So…you guys are finally ok now?” Craig barged in. Marcel almost forgot about that. Delirious must have had done what he needed to do; to apologize and get Evan back. That made everything more interesting.

“Yeah, MiniLaddd.  Delirious asked my dad for my address and paid me a visit.”

“Ooohh, nice. I’m glad, man. It was hard to play with you guys acting like lovers who were fighting over who was going to top or bottom,” Tyler replied teasingly. Marcel smiled, wondering if Delirious was blushing now or squirming in his seat, uncomfortable of what he was hearing. He hoped Tyler wasn’t obvious at his teasing.

“What the fuck, Wildcat?” Delirious responded and laughed. It was clearly forced.

“Yeah, Wildcat,” Evan said. “Like what the fuck, obviously I would top if Delirious and I were lovers.”

“V-VANOSS WHAT THE FUCK?! Are you guys trying to fuck with me right now?!” Delirious responded and the nervousness in his voice could actually be heard, allowing Marcel to grin some more. It was adorable.

“So, hmm, I’m glad you’re not sick. I thought you wouldn’t be able to go online…” Evan changed the topic. Marcel shrugged, obviously didn’t know what it was about, and bought a new car to ride. He saw Craig running towards him and he let the man take the passenger seat.

“Where to, sir?” he asked Craig and turned the steering wheel to the left.

“Anywhere. We should try that new glitch Wildcat was talking about earlier, before this whole “giving head” shit and who tops or bottoms, geez,” Tyler answered and had to laugh at that. Marcel secretly hoped Craig already got the idea about the Vanoss and Delirious ship because he wouldn’t even be reluctant to share the thing with him.

“Hahahaha calm down, Delirious,” Marcel chiseled in and bit his inner cheeks to stop himself from teasing the man even more. “You fit the bottom role, anyway, considering how you’re acting right now.”

“What the fuck, Marcel?!”

“So, Evan, what happened?” Craig asked, ruining the moment. Well, that was what Marcel thought but Evan’s reply was perfect to annoy Delirious some more.

“It rained really hard so he had to stay at my house.”

“Ooooooooo so did you guys have sex?”

“Oh like what the fuck, guys, I’m out. See you later,” and Delirious disconnected from the game, leaving them behind laughing really hard. Marcel had to cover his mouth to stop snorting but he couldn’t help it. Delirious was being a cute jerk and he understood because their teasing had gotten worse. He wanted to feel bad but it was too lovable.

“Aww, he left,” Craig stated.

“You don’t say?” Wildcat replied and shot at the latter non-stop. “But you must admit. That was funny. So Evan, I’m happy you guys are fine now. But you need to answer my question.”

“Haha Wildcat, you sick fuck. No, we didn’t. Ah, I feel bad. I hope Delirious isn’t mad. That was really horrible.”

“Hehe I had to, man, I had to. Why would he get mad at something that he obviously liked?”

Marcel furrowed his eyebrows, eager to listen to what Evan’s going to say.

“Hmm…yeah,” he agreed, after a minute of humming. Marcel was glad. He was glad that his friend didn’t find it disgusting. Because he seriously thought he’d be like bitching all over the place on how gross it was to be teased with Delirious.

“So, like, back to the game. We should totally check out the new glitch…”

 

\---

 

Jonathan just finished showering for the night. He was really feeling tired, thanks to Wildcat who was being a bitch in the game. Like what the hell did they just do? They should know how uncomfortable it was to be teased like that. Seriously, gay sex? Him and Vanoss of all people? Well, he didn’t want to share the man with someone else since he belonged to him but the question came from his friend, so it was totally ridiculous to hear, right?

“Damn it and I wasn’t able to play with Vanoss today,” he muttered to himself and lied down on his bed, his hair still wet but he could care less. Tomorrow’s a Sunday and he wanted to see Evan so bad. He wanted to hang out with him and allow the man to tour him since he hadn’t been to Banff. He googled the place earlier and he was far too excited to go there. It was such a lovely place, and to think he’d be spending a day with Evan there was too much for him already.

He was about to close his eyes to sleep when his phone rang. It was like nine in the evening, who could be calling him? His heart skipped a beat when he saw Evan’s name flashing on the screen. He quickly answered it.

“H-Hello?” _Fuck, Delirious, and you really just had to stutter, you idiot._

“Hey, Delirious. It’s good that you’re still awake since my dad couldn’t contact your dad so he asked me to call you instead.”

He frowned. “Oh, hmm yeah. I was about to go to sleep, actually.”

“Oh, I’m really sorry, man. I didn’t know.”

“Obviously, you wouldn’t know. It’s not like you’re here in my room or something, duh…” he sarcastically replied and hit his forehead. Geez, he didn’t have to be so mean.

“Uh are you mad because of what happened earlier?”

Jonathan stared at the ceiling with his narrowed eyes. He wanted to say yes to have Evan chase after him and apologize but he wasn’t a huge fan of romantic stuff.

“No. It made me…uncomfortable, though. I’m not gay, Evan…”

To spit out another lie was painful. He wished he could just be honest about his sexuality for once, but he couldn’t. He didn’t want Evan to hate him and find him disgusting. Even his parents didn’t know about it, but he already guessed his mum knew since mothers were usually the ones to find out using their instinct. And he also guessed that it was fine, because his mother loved him more and more. If only Evan would be like that…then everything would be easy for him; like telling the truth that he’s gay.

“If you say so, Delirious. I called because I wanted you and your parents to know that we wouldn’t be spending my mum’s birthday in Banff. It’d be held at their house. I don’t know why, but my mum just wanted to stay at home so her friends could come.”

“Ahh, I see. Okay, Evan. I’ll make sure to tell my dad about it. Does he know the address?”

“Yes, he knows. So hmm see you tomorrow, okay? And…Delirious?”

He had to smile at the tone of his voice. He sounded really sweet for a second.

“Yeah, Evan?”

“Dream of me tonight. Bye.”

Toot toot. And he hung up. Jonathan’s smile was replaced with a mouth gaped wide open with his heart beating so fast as if a horse was running after him. What did Evan just say?

 

\---

 

"Evan?" 

"Hey, Annie. What's up?" he greeted in a jolly tone and couldn't help but grin some more. She's perfect for the plan. Annie's one of her exes but if he were to pick one out of them, she'd certainly choose her. She was nice, really sweet, but she wasn't just it. He didn't love her that much, maybe, or the sex wasn't that good. All he knew was that she's romantic.

"Hey. Hmm nothing much. I'm just watching my favorite show," she replied and Evan had to smile. She always loved to watch tv shows. Too bad he didn’t. It wasn’t his type of doing. He tried to have her join him in his games but he declined his invitation because she found it boring. And Evan thought it was a huge turn-off. He wanted someone whom he could play with. He remembered Jonathan out of nowhere.

_Well Delirious is a huge fan of drama..._

"Nice. So like I wanted to ask if you're free tomorrow? I need your help."

"Hmm? What help?"

Evan glanced at the sheets and took a deep breath before answering. "I'd like you to pretend to be my girlfriend.”

“Your girlfriend? Hahaha are you alright? Did something happen between you and your new girl?”

He poked a tongue out and narrowed his eyes. “I don’t have a girlfriend. Yet. Whatever. But really, Annie, are you free tomorrow? Please say yes, it’s urgent.”

“Are you going to make someone jealous then or something? Or is this your excuse to getting back with me?”

“Annie, you watch too much romantic shit. Of course not. That’s kinda lame, you know.”

“Yeah fuck you too, Evan. Yeah I am free tomorrow. You’d have to pick me up, though.”

He smiled wickedly. “Perfect! Okay, 9 am.”

“Or maybe 10 since you’re usually late,” she laughed and he did too. It’s not like he could do anything about it. He was just really lazy. Or maybe she wasn’t that special.

“Haha alright, Annie, thank you. And good night…” He didn’t wait for her to say good night as well so he hung up right away. Tomorrow would be perfect.

“Hmmm…” he slowly lied down on his bed and grabbed a pillow to cuddle. “Hmmm…”

 

tbc

 


	7. Chapter 7

00o00

 

It was 5 am when Jonathan awoke. He didn’t feel like sleeping anymore. He wondered if it was because of Evan’s mum’s birthday and he was just too excited or if it was because he slept too early so he woke up at such an early hour too. He wanted to think that it was the latter, but the beat of his heart said otherwise. Since he couldn’t get himself to sleep again, he decided to go online to play a game. He wondered if his friends were online, it would be really nice. He checked his friends’ list and saw that Marcel and Tyler were playing Garry’s Mod. He grinned to himself as he launched the application. At least it was just the three of them. He didn’t want the two to tease him with Evan around.

When he finally joined in the game, Marcel greeted him first, asking him why he’s up so early. As usual, he didn’t tell the truth and made up excuses. He really needed to stop being such a liar. It wasn’t a good habit anymore. It would probably lead him to trouble, too. But he couldn’t do anything. He didn’t want to be teased again.

“Oh . Evan’s birthday? I thought it was the 2nd of May, Delirious?” Marcel asked, obviously heard the wrong information.

“No, you idiot. Evan’s mum…” he replied and spawned 50 balloons. He wanted to earn an achievement.

“Duh, Marcel. Delirious should know Evan’s birthday. I mean, they’re in a secret relationship, you know,” Tyler butted in, the tone of his voice was obviously something.

“Yeah, how about you shut the fuck up, Wildcat?” he answered.  “Why are you guys suddenly pairing me up with Vanoss, anyway? Is it because of Nogla?”

He could hear Tyler’s snort and he should admit it pissed him off for the sole reason that he didn’t know, clearly, what was up and why his friends were doing this. Was it to annoy him? If so, then they were rather doing a great job.

“What about Nogla? Nogla’s out of this. Why are you sounding mad, anyway? Guilty as charged?”

His eyes slightly widened. “Uh, no? It’s because I’m not gay and you guys are suddenly pairing me—“

“You’re not?” Marcel asked, cutting him off.

“Or are you?” Tyler asked, too.

Jonathan felt like the room he was in was getting smaller and he was finding it hard to breathe. His friends were asking him that one thing he never really wanted to open up to them. It was his secret. It was like Pandora’s box. And they would never, ever, understand it. Although, deep inside he still had this slight hope that one day they might, but the sad fact that they’d hate him too scared him so much. His friends were the highlight of his day. If he lost them, he’d be lost too. And there would be no way out.

Now that they were asking him about it, should he tell? Knowing Tyler, that guy wouldn’t be able to keep his mouth shut and he might reveal it to everyone. Jonathan bit his lower lip just imagining that. Marcel was also talkative. What if he accidentally shared the truth with Evan? He’d be dead meat. He stared at the screen for awhile before gripping his controller tighter. His mouth opened and as he was about to say something, Marcel spoke.

“Don’t be scared. We’ll still be here for you.”

He didn’t know he was biting his lip too hard that he could taste the blood from it. His eyes were watery, a mixture of confusion, fear, anger, those emotions he didn’t want to feel at the same time. He didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t bring himself to tell them what was on his mind.

“I…You guys are starting to creep me out, really. Why are you guys doing this? Is it because I lied to you about moving and not saying soon? Come on,” he said, hoping he could drop the subject and proceed to playing with them. He didn’t wake up to be interrogated.

“Actually, Delirious,” Tyler answered. “I’ve been noticing it a lot. And I just want to clarify. Do you have a thing for Evan?”

“I---What?!”

Jonathan scratched his head and sighed out loud. He was fucked; totally fucked. Should he just go offline? Or maybe excuse himself out? Or maybe stop being a huge pussy?

“Delirioooousssss, be honest, you bitch. I really like the pairing, you know,” Marcel added, and the fear he was feeling just banished. Marcel likes the pairing? Evan and him pairing?

He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry?”

“Jesus, Delirious. Can you stop being like that? We’re asking you a very important question, alright, and we assure you, ok, that we will never hate you if you answer yes. And yes, too, Marcel likes to pair you up more with Evan. Well, subtly?”

“What the fuck? Are you guys messing with me right now? What kind of shit---“

“Are you gay or not?!” Tyler barked and Jonathan gulped after saying a soft “Yes.”

“There you go. It wasn’t as hard as you thought it was, right? Geez.”

Jonathan blinked like an idiot as he heard Marcel squealing like a fangirl and saying things like “Aw this guy is so cute” and “I hope Evan knows too”.

“WHAT?! NO! Evan shouldn’t know! Evan will be so fucking disgusted! He’s my best friend!” he cried. “None of you guys should tell! I trust you both, alright?”

“Wow calm down. We will keep this, okay? And uh Delirious, why do you even like Evan? He’s such a douchebag haha!”

Jonathan frowned and started to play his character that was left idle in a car. “He’s not. He’s very nice. And…he’s cute.”

Marcel laughed. “So you’re saying you have a thing for Asian guys?”

“No!” he immediately answered and plastered a smirk. “Only Evan.”

“Delirious is such a cutie pie now that he’s in love. Don’t worry, Delirious. We’re not going to tell anyone about this. I just hope no one notices your “thing” for Evan because you’re growing pretty obvious about it.”

“Obvious?” he asked, his eyebrows furrowing in the process. Was he that obvious? “What do you mean?”

“Oh nothing,” Marcel replied, the tone of his voice seemed to be mocking him as if it was something he shouldn’t have just asked.

 “It’s just that you and Evan are mostly the ones who play all the time. And you wait for him every day to get on and when he’s not around, you start looking for him. I think you, yourself, don’t notice it but Tyler’s been pretty keen and yeah, that’s why I’m here, pairing you up with Evan,” he continued.

“Wow, so Tyler…?”

He could imagine Wildcat nod at his question. “Definitely. I shared it with Marcel and he didn’t agree at first although eventually, he did. So…”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, guys. Just please stop teasing me when he’s around. I don’t want him to—“

“Trust me,” Tyler said. “Evan is as dense as a motherfucker. He won’t notice. Not unless one of us here tells him so.”

Jonathan squinted his eyes and scoffed. “Tyler, shut up. Evan is not a motherfucker, ok?”

“I wasn’t saying that he is, but you have to admit that he is dense. Like really, Delirious,” Tyler explained and he nodded, seeming to finally get what his friend wanted to say.

“Alright. Ok, everything will be fine. I trust you guys.”

"Sure, sure. We won't say anything. Secrets cannot be kept forever anyway. It will always be revealed eventually."

Jonathan rolled his eyes. "You're scaring me."

Tyler laughed. "I am not. It's the truth, Delirious."

"Bah bah bah like I said, everything would be fine as long as we shut up. And lessen the teasing, please, I feel so uncomfortable every freaking time."

"Right."

"For the mean time, I have to go take a shower. Party will be starting soon, and my mum will be up here any second."

Marcel squeaked and teased him. “Have fun at the party, Delirious. Don’t forget to share us details after.”

“Whatever.”

 

00o00

 

Evan looked at his own reflection in the mirror and got pissed off because he couldn’t pick the right shirt for him. He wanted to wear his favorite red shirt but it just didn’t suit him well and he was confused. He had always loved it. He groaned out of frustration and headed towards the closet, rummaging through it, finding a new shirt to try on again. He didn’t understand why he was nervous all of a sudden. All he knew was that he needed to look good and pleasant. Maybe it was because of his ex-girlfriend coming? Or the thought of meeting some cute girls at the party made him feel that way?

Evan gasped when he heard his phone vibrate loudly atop the table. Who could be texting him at this hour? Jonathan? He saw his ex’s name on the screen and he checked the message, reading it slowly because he was still tired from lack of sleep and he didn’t want to mess up.

_Hey sorry cant go 2 da party mom’s sick she needs 2 b attended xoxo_

He keyed in his response.  _Are you srs? WHY_

_I just sed dat shes sick_

_Ure lying arent u_

_Evan y wud i lie abt it/?????_

_Bc youre a bitch good bye_

“Ughhhh this is why we should never communicate again ughhhh,” he whispered angrily and almost smashed his phone on the floor. Now his plan would never work out! How the hell was he going to make Jonathan jealous when she couldn’t even make it to the party?

That night where Jonathan was forced to stay at his house was the night he found out what the other guy feels about him. He was very astonished, yes, for the sole reason that never once did he think Jonathan swings that way. He had no problems about gays and lesbians, he actually supports the group. It’s just that, of all people, why him? What did Jonathan see in him?

He remembered how his best friend wrapped his arms tightly around his waist and whispered “I like you, Vanoss” a couple of times before passing out due to exhaustion. He remembered how he scolded himself so bad for finding it cute, and he remembered how he closed his eyes while sniffing Jonathan’s hair that smelled like apple juice. He remembered it all, and he wished those never happened.

Evan’s pretty sure that he’s straight. He had a lot of girlfriends in the past and he had sex with all of them and he loved it. He loved how all of them moaned at his touch, especially on their private parts. He loved how they’d all cuddle him after sex and how they’d shower and fuck in there again. He would never question his sexuality.

But why was he feeling this way?

He was aware that Jonathan was one of the most important people right now in his life and just like his sexuality, he would never question the other guy’s importance. Jonathan was like a Math problem that he would love to solve but since he hated Math, he would never bother.  He was like that puzzle piece that was missing in his bedroom when he was 8 and as much as he wanted to look for it, his laziness just made him not to. Jonathan was a mess that he wouldn’t bother to clean; because cleaning it meant losing it. And he didn’t want that to happen.

“Evan, Evan, what the fuck’s happening to you? Why are you being like this?” he asked himself and ruffled his hair a bit harshly.

 

00o00

 

Brian was lost. He knew he was because the map that was drawn on the paper which was in his hand was different from the one that he was standing on right now. He sighed deeply and scratched his left jaw afterwards since he just couldn’t get it right. He looked up and down again to compare the building on the paper and in real life. It looked kind of the same but it stated on the writing that the apartment was colored blue but the one in front of him was colored green. Like how the fuck?

“Uh excuse me, sir,” he approached an elder kindly and smiled. “Do you think this---“

“I have no time for that,” the old man cut him off rudely and walked past by him as if he didn’t want to know that he exists.

Brian’s jaw tightened for awhile before he decided to get a cup of iced coffee. He needed to chill. Flying to Canada from Dublin was very tough. It was like doing a mission on GTA V without a controller. In the coffee shop he was greeted by a pretty crew and he was forced to offer her a smile.

He never liked girls. It might not look like that online if he’s with his friends but he’s actually gay. And he’s in love. That’s pretty much the reason why he flew to Canada just to see the person in real life. He just really wanted to see him.

He badly wanted to personally meet him.

 

00o00

 

Jonathan kept on letting out loud yawns and he got scolded by his mum, accusing him of not sleeping early. Well, he did sleep early and awoke really early at the same time. Therefore, he was indeed lacking sleep. It was a terrible idea to not go back to bed and instead talk to Tyler and Marcel. Because now he looked like he was on drugs. He felt great somehow, though, knowing how his friends were really supportive. He still couldn’t believe that they accepted him, especially Tyler, who seemed strict to him. He even thought Tyler was homophobic; because that man’s very straight.

And how the hell did they know about his things for Evan? Was he really that obvious? Did he stutter when Evan talked to him and teased him to death? If not, then those guys were really observant and sharp.

“Jonathan, are you alright?” his mum asked and he sniffed, turning to look at her worried face. It was really cold. But he likes it.

“I’m ok, mum. Don’t worry about it.”

“Your nose is red.”

“My nose is cute. Like mum, really, I’m fine. This is nothing. And why are you wearing that bright red dress? You’re not the birthday celebrant,” he commented and earned a slap on his thigh. That was his mum’s favorite dress but for him, it was just…not good. It was too bright.

“I always like the color red,” his mum replied. “I will wear whatever I want!”

He snorted and glanced to the left, thinking that the trees might be smiling at him as they passed by them. He felt the butterflies in his stomach when he suddenly thought of Evan. They were gonna meet today, at the house of his parents. He wondered what Evan's mum looks like. She's probably beautiful, and elegant, and everything nice, because so is Evan. 

He slightly grinned and closed his eyes slowly. "Evan..." he softly whispered before he decided to take a nap. It was a long way to go and he needed rest. 

 

00o00

 

Evan glanced at his wristwatch and frowned. It was 12:30 PM and Jonathan hasn't arrived with his parents yet. He has gotten tired of waiting for him so he sat down on the couch, tapping his fingers absentmindedly on the arm rest. Was his best friend able to come or not? He had already texted him a while ago and he never got a reply from him. People were already coming into the house and they were so busy chitchatting with each other that he cursed all of them mentally; for being so noisy.

Evan was fixing his coat when a girl sat down right next to him. He looked up a little bit to see her smile at him and he diverted his gaze to another direction only to see that there were available seats. 

 _Really, girl, really?_ he thought.

"Hey," the girl greeted. "I'm Diane, and you are?"

Bored out of his mind, Evan faked a smile and offered a hand. "Hey, I'm Evan. Nice to meet you," he answered and shook her hand gently, seeing her grin cheerfully. 

He was obviously just using her to calm down from being frustrated. Jonathan wasn't still there so he needed some sort of distraction. The girl ended up to be very talkative and Evan didn't like it. Jonathan was talkative but he would talk about interesting things, and even if his jokes could be as bad as Nogla's, he still liked them. But hers was different. She talked about how she went to Paris last year and how much she enjoyed it. Evan could care less, after all, he has been to Paris/

He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket so he hushed the girl by waving his phone right in front of her face. She managed to shut up, thank goodness.

_Sorry for the late reply. I fell asleep in the car._

It was from Jonathan. Evan felt so alive as he typed in his reply. _its alright you guys are late though_

Seconds later, his phone vibrated again. _Yeah sorry. We have arrived, actually. I saw you with a girl in the living room so I didn't bother._

Evan stood up from his seat immediately and headed towards the glass door, excusing himself as he passed by the crowd. He didn't know, well he should have known Jonathan had arrived already. He was about to turn left when someone grabbed him by the arm and turn him around. 

"Hey, where are you going?"

Evan plastered a wide grin and punched Jonathan's arm gently. He was so happy to see the guy again. He thought he wasn't coming because they were already late, but there he is, grinning back at him. Evan's eyebrows knitted in confusion when he noticed that Jonathan looked really tired, as if he didn't get sleep.

"You look like shit. Did you even sleep?" he asked and noticed how Jonathan's eyes landed on the ground for a second before answering.

"I did, I just awoke too early."

"Were you that excited for the party?" he teased and elbowed his stomach. "You still look like shit."

Jonathan snorted and rolled his eyes at him. "You can stop reminding me. Soooo... nice shirt, man."

Evan nodded and smiled. "It's my favorite. You got a nice shirt, too. And it's blue. Hey, your nose is red. We should go in."

They both headed inside the house after Jonathan told his mum. Evan wanted to show him his room before he decided to leave and live independently. They were about to ascend the stairs when the girl from earlier approached Evan.

"Hey, Evan!" Diane cheekily called and wrapped an arm around his. "Got ya!"

"Uh, hey, Diane, what's up?" he replied and secretly gave Jonathan a glance, who was staring at the girl carefully. Well, since his ex girlfriend wasn't able to come, he could use Diane.

"W-Who is she?" Jonathan asked. 

"Who are you?" the girl asked Jonathan in return. Evan let out a dry cough and removed Diane's arm from holding his and smiled at her.

"He's Jonathan, my best friend. Jonathan, this is Diane. Diane, meet Jonathan."

Jonathan smiled at her albeit forcefully, and so did Diane who even crossed her arms against her chest. The tension was real, Evan could feel it surrounding them, and he didn't understand why when Diane was merely nothing but a stranger. Could she read his mind? Or was she just this bitchy? 

"Nice to meet you, Diane."

"Nice to meet you too, Jonathan."

Evan was about to shoo her away when his best friend spoke in a listless manner.

"Uh, I gotta go. I promised my mum that I'd stick with her so yeah, bye," and walked far from them, allowing himself to be swallowed by the crowd outside and leaving the two of them by the stairs.

"What?" Evan whispered.

 

 

-tbc-


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! I am so sorry for the very late update. Work got the best of me, I sincerely apologise :( Forgive me. My computer was fucked up and I lost my data for this story. I'm starting from scratch atm so yeah I hope you guys understand. I love you all, thanks for staying with me.
> 
> PS: Tornado, love. My apologies. Forgive me for leaving you hanging.

\---

 

Brian, also known as The Gaming Terroriser, was now sitting on the couch in his newly found apartment (which was drawn on the paper and was correct the whole time) with his laptop on the couch and watching someone's videos on Youtube. He was so pissed off because he spent long hours just to find the place he had rented before he arrived in Canada when it was right in front of the cafe shop he stayed in to relax. He didn't see the name of the apartment since he was very exhausted from the horrible flight. The guy who was seated next to him threw up and he was so disgusted he squirmed in his seat pretty bad-- well most of the passengers looked at him in a funny way and he was so embarrassed. The guy smiled at him apologetically but he was so mad he raised a fist up, scaring the other lad. A flight attendant came to assist the poor guy and that was when he found the right time to let out a sigh of relief.

And there he was now, lazing around in his clean apartment.

Brian scrolled down while cradling his chin when he stumbled upon a very random video of Daithi's entitled H2O Delirious and Vanoss Couple. His eyebrows met since he never thought such video existed-- still exists, for the comments on top were recently done. Like two days ago? Determined to find out what was on the video, he shamelessly clicked on it and suddenly cringed when the song Perfect Two began to play. He never liked that song; for him it was too cheesy.

And so was the video.

He curled his fist into a ball after watching the video. Jealousy resided in his chest for a long period of time. He could not believe it. People were actually shipping Delirious with Evan. How the hell did that even happen? Were there requirements for that? What did they see in them that they couldn't see in him and Delirious?

He has liked Delirious for a good amount of time already, and never did he mention it to any of his Youtube friends, not even to Marcel that he was somehow close to. He was scared of getting out of the closet for he was sure Delirious would be so disgusted. That man's not like him-- he's not gay, and he has a thing for boobs. Girls.

"I should talk to him tomorrow to get his phone number. Time for us to meet," he whispered and closed his eyes, hoping that the man he has a thing for would say yes. He wanted to see him so bad.

 _I like you, Delirious_ , he thought and smiled a bit. 

 

\---

 

The fact that it was a birthday party he attended and not a funeral bugged Jonathan so much because there he was sitting on a colorfully designed chair right next to her mum who happened to also have a frown on her face just like him. Curious, he drifted his gaze to the left where his mum's sight landed and slowly plastered a smirk. Ah, so that's why. His dad was busy talking to some females who were probably his co-workers. Would that mean it's jealousy her mum was feeling at the moment? 

Jonathan was jealous. He really was. When they arrived earlier, he didn't really want to wake up because he was so tired and he felt so comfortable on his seat which was at the back of the car that he could just sleep the whole day. But his mum said something about Evan and he instantly opened his eyes and went out of the car. How could he forget about Evan when he was like the absolute reason why he felt like going to the party? Oh, and also to be close to Evan's mum, and closer to Evan's dad. As he made his steps towards the house through the crowd, the nervousness suddenly crawled from his back down to his stomach. There were too many people and they were obviously wealthy, based on the dresses they wore and the way they handled the occasion. And would you even look at him? He was just wearing a simple white v-neck shirt with a navy blue pea coat in his hand. Not to mention his jeans were kind of tight for him. He probably gained weight in his first month of stay in Canada. 

Jonathan didn't know where to go. There were at least 4 houses and he didn't know where Evan was currently staying. He puffed out a sigh, abruptly remembering that his phone was with him. He sheepishly smiled to himself as he shoved a hand in his tight pocket, taking his phone out. There were like 5 messages from Evan. He couldn't help but grin when he read them.

_morning where you guys at?_

_hey are you coming_

_where are you_

_you guys are definitely late_

_DELIRIOUS WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU_

 

And then he saw Evan-- with a girl. A pretty girl. She had these black curls that suited her tiny face, and from the distance it looked like they were having fun talking to each other and Jonathan despised it. He hated how the girl just placed her hand on Evan's arm when she laughed, how Evan shrugged his shoulders off acting like the joke didn't get him but it actually did, how she covered her mouth in a lady-like manner when Evan whispered something in her ear. Jonathan never liked it when he would feel jealous. Because everything would just basically turn into negativity, ruining his day and his life. It was the last emotion he'd ever ask for. 

Walking away, he quickly typed in a fast reply for Evan. He wanted to know if his best friend would choose him over that girl. If he went out of that house right away once he'd know he has arrived, then that would mean he's chosen him. And he actually did choose him.  

He should have known it wouldn't last that long because before Evan could lead him upstairs, the girl was there again-- clinging like a snake, wrapping her skinny arm around Evan's. Jonathan thought his day would have gotten at least better after seeing the two chitchat like they were the best of friends and not him and Evan but no. She had to ruin it, and this time he's had enough. He walked away and distanced himself from Evan, aware that his mind and his emotion have gotten him. He entertained jealousy wholeheartedly, and he could care less about it. Not now. Not when Evan didn't really care.

But wait. Does Evan know about his feelings for the other one? Does he even? If so, then he doesn't have the rights to feel like this in the first place. So why was he sulking and wishing at the same time that the guy would come running around and try to get his attention? His Youtube name actually does suit him then. He was really delirious. 

"Mum, you're frowning. Smile please, we're in a party," he whispered in his mum's ear. He heard his mum groan a little as she glanced at him, smiling embarrassingly. She probably knew that she was being obvious and she was ashamed of it. 

"Sorry. Why are you here? Where is Evan?" her mum asked and looked worried because when he heard the man's name, his face turned sour. Which was weird because he'd usually smile-- and even blush- once he hears the name. 

"Did something happen, Jonathan?" she added.

Jonathan curled his arms against his chest and huffed. "Nothing. I don't want to talk about him. And please don't ask."

"Alright. I hope you guys didn't fight. You were really excited to see him, anyway."

He gave his mum a horrifying look and rolled his eyes. "Oh my god, mum, please. I've had enough of that brat."

"Brat? So something did happen?"

"Obviously. I wouldn't even bother sulking if nothing happened," he murmured. 

And then it happened. Something caught his eyes and he looked up, seeing Evan walk together with his mum not far from them. He looked so adorable with his leather jacket, and he felt his chest tighten. He suddenly wanted to cry, because the truth slapped him across the face; hard this time. This man would never ever be his. He was just a friend; would always be a friend. He still claimed he's lucky to have him as his best friend. But that's all there is to it. 

_Best friend._

And their eyes met. 

 _Son of a bitch._ And Evan really had to sit on a chair that was near his own and they were facing each other. Jonathan quickly averted his gaze to somewhere else and stared at his mum who was now busy talking to someone beside her. He hurriedly thought of an idea on how to escape this awkward situation. He didn't want to hold his head up because for sure that would only mean one thing-- eye to eye contact with the almighty Evan. He snapped his fingers and took his phone out of his pocket and pretended like he was texting someone when there were like three people in his contacts. His mum, his dad, and Evan. Funny. He just rummaged through his photos and bitterly smiled when he stopped at Evan's picture in the gallery.

"Such a cutie pie," he whispered. 

He yelped a bit loud when his phone vibrated. He always had the plans to change his phone setting but he never did. Blame his forgetfulness for it. There was a message from Evan, and with a creased forehead, he opened it.

**_why did you leave all of a sudden_ **

He licked his lower lip. Should he reply? Should he? Thinking how Evan really did the effort to text him while knowing he was mad made him do it. He sent him a message in return.

**_Because I can._ **

Another reply came.

**_are you mad_ **

Jonathan wrinkled his nose.

**_No._ **

**_you obviously are_ **

His cheeks were puffed as he keyed in his reply.

**_Then why bother asking?_ **

**_is it bec of her?_**

His eyebrows were raised this time. 

**_Her who?_ **

**_yknow the clingy woman_ **

He licked his upper lip, anxiety paying his stomach a visit.

**_She's a bitch._ **

**_oh? what made you think that_ **

He scoffed. He wished Evan would stop sending him messages. Something was _just_ not right.

**_She just is._ **

**_youre funny_ **

He sat properly.

**_What the fuck Vanoss?_ **

**_look at you rolling your eyes all over the place_ **

He was typing hard.

**_I AM NOT!_ **

**_youre jealous arent you?_ **

Jonathan's eyes gradually widened as he read the message--reading it again and again and again-- with his eyes widening even more. He kept reading the message until he forgot how to breathe and there his phone went vibrating, coaxing him to open the new message from the very same person who made his heart race like a bitch.

**_youre so jealous_ **

After reading that, he finally gathered the courage to look up and meet Evan's stare. There was that look again; that look that said Evan knew something that he didn't and it bothered him a lot. So has he been staring this whole time while they sent each other messages? Goosebumps were all over his body when he saw Evan smirk a bit and avoid his gaze, turning his head to the left and waving a hand at a kid who happened to pass by happily. He didn't know what to do. He felt like running away. He didn't want to assume but something was telling him that Evan might know about his feelings for him. Just the thought of it made him squirm in his seat and suddenly, everything was uncomfortable for him.

Jonathan stood up, garnering his mother's attention who was now looking up at him with a curious look in her face. He heaved a sigh before offering her a tiny smile, assuring her that he was fine and he just needed to breathe some fresh air, or maybe be away from Evan for now. 

"What's wrong?" she asked anyway, starting to stand up from her seat.

"I'm okay, 'ma. I want to rest in the car. You don't mind, do you?" 

"No, I don't. But are you sure everything is perfectly fine?"

He gave her a slight nod, and before she could ask for more, he turned away. Jonathan would admit, he was scared. And confused. Scared, because Evan was suddenly acting weird and he was confused for the very same reason. Why would Evan send him something like that, as if he could read what was running through his mind? How could he ask him if he was jealous and then proceed to declare that he indeed was, still is, jealous...when his best friend was in fact, straight. 

Or was he just exaggerating? What if that message was mainly about them being friends and Evan didn't want him to be jealous over someone like her who's not even that close to Evan? Was it just like that? But his intuition was telling him otherwise. The way Evan looked at him gave him goosebumps. The way his upper lip rose to send him a smirk was even enough to give him sweaty palms. Jonathan reached the garden where a swing was present, and he decided to stay there for awhile to clean his thoughts. They were unhealthy and they might kill him there and then. As he sat, he tried to recall what happened. 

He got jealous.

Evan somehow detected it.

It was crazy.

He is crazy.

Jonathan was never the best person to handle negativity. Usually, before it gets the chance to visit him and ruin his day, he would do his best to stay away from it and distract himself by playing video games or maybe petting his turtle, eating his favourite food. Too many options for him to choose from just so he could prevent the negative thoughts to wreck him. And now that one of them has successfully got in, he was lost. He wasn't home, and the people who surrounded him would never be of help. He knew no one, only Evan and his parents. How could he let it go, right? 

Jonathan awoke from his reverie when his phone beeped. A call. He didn't bother checking who the caller was and just received it right away for he was positive it was either his mum or his dad, looking for him. 

"Hello?" he answered. His heart skipped a beat when a familiar voice was heard. 

"Delirious," Evan, on the other line, said and he sounded so serious that it made him feel anxious. What the hell's going on now?

"E-Evan, hey..." he awkwardly replied, adjusting his sitting position. The urge to run away...

"Look behind you."

Jonathan slowly widened his eyes and his grip on the phone tightened. He didn't look, though, instead he gulped hard and closed his eyes as he heaved a deep sigh.

"No, shut the fuck up. What the fuck are you doing? Stop this bullshit!" he angrily said and stood up, ending the call, and proceeded to head straight to the parking lot where he could just stay in the car for the rest of the day. He knew Evan was behind him-- he could feel his presence, which made him weak and definitely more scared.

"Delirious!"

As he heard Evan's shout, his paces went faster. He didn't care if he would trip over, he just needed to get away from him. He despised it so much, he didn't ask for this shit. All he wanted was to be with Evan throughout the day, maybe stay at his room to talk about stuff, but thanks to that bitch they weren't able to do that and now he's in the situation where he felt like crying hard.

"DELIRIOUS!"

It was louder this time but he didn't care. 

"Godfuckingdamn it!"

Jonathan released a loud gasp when Evan grabbed his arm; his long gloved fingers wrapping tightly around his wrist. He was forced to look up now and there he saw how mad Evan was with his eyebrows meeting and his nasal flaring. And suddenly the world stopped turning around for him, it was the two of them only, and he could only see his face, and feel the warmth of his hold. When he noticed Evan's lips move on cue, he snapped. He pulled his arm out of his tight hold and backed away, as if Evan had a disease he didn't want to get. 

"You fucking bitch, it hurt!" he yelled. 

"Why the fuck are you running away from me, huh?" Evan roared in return, earning another gasp from Jonathan. "WHY?"

"Because you are so weird you're scaring me!"

"Oh? Why, I didn't know you were guilty, Delirious. So you really were jealous-- oh wait, you're still jealous, I see."

Jonathan's mouth opened and then that was it. He didn't know what to say. How could he think of something good as his rebuttal when he was clearly guilty as charged? What was he going to do? Deny again? Oh for fuck's sake.

"NO. Why would I be?"

"Why are you asking me?"

Jonathan gawked. "Oh why are you asking me blah blah obviously because you're acting like shit. I am not jealous, seriously. And Evan, I don't care about that bitch. You're scared that I might snatch her away from you since I'm more good-looking than you, is that it?"

"You're not jealous, really? Delirious, let me clear out something for you. That look you gave her when she wrapped his arm around mine? That definitely was the look that screamed jealousy. You were jealous."

"What the fuck?! I wasn't jealous---"

"It's obvious that you still are, apparently," Evan cut him off before he could finish his sentence. He glared at him.

"I don't get why you're doing this. If this is your way of messing with me because I was late, then fine. You win, you're fucking winning."

"I am not even messing with you. I am telling you the truth. You're jealous."

"Can you stop? I've been telling you, I AM NOT, I WAS NOT JEALOUS. Are we clear on that?"

"No, Delirious. Just admit it, man. Why is it so hard for you tell me? Be honest, that's all I'm asking."

Jonathan licked his lower lip and bit his tongue. He wanted to run away, but knowing how Evan's fast at catching up, he decided to just stay and lie. Again, that was the best method he could think of at the moment. There was no other choices.

"I am being honest. I am not jealous. For the millionth time, Vanoss."

"Then why are you acting like that?"

"Acting like what?"

"Like you're in denial."

He certainly was in denial. And it was the truth. Everything Evan has said was nothing but the truth. He was jealous, still is jealous, and he was the one who was acting weird because he didn't want his best friend to know the fact that he was in love with him. That he was gay, that he was hopelessly in love, too. If Evan knew, he was screwed. Their friendship would end, no more GTA V, no more GMOD, no more skype calls everyday, no more messages, and no more love. How could he be honest when the fear of losing Evan was the first thing that came to mind? Losing him meant losing himself too. 

"What the fuck does that even mean?! What in denial are you blabbering about, Vanoss?" 

"You're gay, aren't you? And you're in love with me," Evan said and eyed him in a serious manner. 

"W-What--"

Evan folded his arms firmly on his chest and raised an eyebrow at a frozen Delirious.

"Got you."

 

\--- 

tbc

 


	9. Chapter 9

 

 

_Evan felt a pang of uncertainty in his chest as he watched Jonathan stride listlessly across the room. At first he thought the plan was successful, and that was to use the girl as a replacement for Annie, but no, it clearly wasn't. He was expecting his best friend to show a reaction by getting mad and giving her sarcastic comments in a subtle manner, or maybe in a very obvious state, but the result? He ended up being disappointed. He should have known so he wouldn't have done it. He could have had an enjoyable day with Jonathan, not have him scoot away. He was so angry at himself for being childish. He knew the other one loves him more than friends, so how, in the world, could he break his heart like that? He didn't want to pretend that he didn't add a sprinkle of empathy about what happened at his own house. If he were in Jonathan's shoes, he would have felt the same way. But he wouldn't have acted like that. He wouldn't have also walked away to distract himself from the pain of seeing the one he loves together with someone else-- having a girl's arm wrapped around his own and exchanging smiles. He wouldn't have cared, for he was Evan, and not Jonathan._

_After Jonathan left, he processed everything that happened and proceeded to think of ways to get Jonathan's attention again. Should he go out too? Should he approach him as if nothing happened? Should he go get him a glass of cold drink? What should he do? Knowing jealousy, well when he gets jealous, he would usually stop talking to the person that caused it and shut everything out. He secretly hoped Jonathan was different._

_He did hope Jonathan was different._

 

\--

 

"Got you."

The look on Jonathan's face revealed a lot of emotions that Evan has never seen before. There were anxiety, confusion, fear, desperation-- there was a ton and he couldn't possibly name all of them. It scared him, because what he did was very sudden, and he didn't mean to,  _god_ , he didn't mean to. His anger reached its limit and he wasn't able to stop himself from admitting what he knew. That night where it rained heavily fucked him up. It was so wrong, but he couldn't find any reason to hate it, to despite it. Truth be told he felt ok, very ok for that matter, because Jonathan was not going anywhere. He loved him, he  _loves_ him, so he was going to stay with him. 

Evan gritted his teeth and gulped so hard, so hard he was certain Jonathan heard it because his head turned to him with his eyes widening, and that scared Evan even more. His best friend looked so lost, like a puppy that was so desperate to find its owner, and how badly did he want to console him, hug him, shush him, tell him everything would be alright and that nothing was going to change. But he couldn't. For he was a dumbass. 

"D-Delirious," he whispered in a hoarse voice. "I'm sorry."

Tears were now falling from the other one's eyes, and Evan mentally cursed for like a million times. He never wished to see that happen. It hurt so bad. He didn't know it would be painful to see his best friend cry, and the sole fact that it was due to what he said and did, stabbed him in the chest so hard it was enough to cause him an even more serious damage. 

Evan was the type to avoid pain. As much as possible, he would do everything to not meet it halfway. He would safely do things, he would plan things out before doing them, he was just like that. He should have been more careful, he should have known how fragile Delirious really was, so he could have not spit the truth out, right in front of him, right when he was in pain. Evan would admit. He was being stupid this time. 

Jonathan sniffed and bit his upper lip, raising and using his backhand to wipe the tears away which was now streaming down freely from his eyes. 

"N-No," Jonathan said, voice shaky. "Don't say anything. Don't..."

"Delirious--"

Jonathan looked at him and cried again. "You probably hate me now. You probably think I'm disgusting, retarded, for falling for someone like you. Y-You probably think--" and his sobs stopped him from talking. Evan wanted to respond, but Jonathan spoke again.

"How...How did you know? Did they tell you? DID THEY?" he asked, and this time his voice was loud. 

Evan's eyebrows furrowed. They who? So their friends knew? About Jonathan's feelings? He suddenly recalled those times where Tyler teased him to Jonathan out of nowhere with Marcel backing him up. 

_"Hey Evan do you think Delirious is annoying?" Tyler asked as they decided to video chat on Skype._

_The three of them-- him, Tyler, and Marcel, were bored after they played GTA V and Garry's Mod so now they were just kinda messing around. Tyler was wearing the shirt he had sent him awhile back and that made him happy because no matter how much of an asshole his friend could be, he was still one of the nicest men he had ever known and befriended. Marcel, on the other hand, was wearing what Delirious had sent him. It was a red jersey that Marcel had always wanted but never had the time to buy it._

_"What, of course not! He's my best friend, he's not annoying," he answered quickly and shook his head. "Do you think he's annoying?" he asked in return._

_He saw Marcel shake his head while giggling. "Delirious is adorable. He's funny. Tyler thinks he is, though."_

_Evan eyed Marcel in a worried look. "Why do you think that?"_

_Tyler grinned. "Why do you think he's not annoying when he's the noisiest piece of shit ever?"_

_He was mad. He was so mad he could feel his stomach lurch for a second, as if it wanted him to throw up what he had eaten for the day. How could Tyler badmouth Jonathan when the other one clearly hasn't done something wrong? Delirious isn't the noisiest piece of shit ever, he's one of a kind. His laughter could probably light up a whole town, his voice could brighten up someone's gloomy day. Delirious is funny, he's lovable, he's very nice-- heck, he's everything nice, which is why Evan is proud to call him his best friend. He couldn't possibly swallow what Tyler has said. That was wrong, and dumb._

_"He's not noisy, and most importantly, he's not a piece of shit. He is my best friend, don't criticize him when I'm around," he said seriously, emphasis was obvious in every word. Confusion washed all over him when he noticed Tyler's grin widened even more._

_"Alright, alright. Are you angry?"_

_Marcel butted in. "I think he's the most adorable piece of shit out there."_

_Evan breathed heavily. "Again, he's not a piece of shit."_

_"You're making it sound like you have a huge crush on Delirious, Evan. Well, do you?"_

"Are you referring to Wildcat and Marcel?" he asked, hungry for clarification. He has to make sure he has the right guess this time. 

"Yes," Jonathan answered, eyes brimming with tears. "I...I kind of told them about my feelings, and I trusted them. T-They have betrayed my trust and I don't know what to do because I am in so much pain and I--"

"I found it out myself, Delirious," he cut the other one off, sadness evident in his voice. "I found it out the night you stayed in over my house. You...You sort of confessed to me when I got in your room to console you. Because you were having a nightmare."

Evan saw Jonathan's mouth fall open and he felt worse. "I'm sorry, Jonathan. I really am."

"And you didn't tell me about it?! Why are you doing this to me?! And that girl from earlier! Was it your plan to make me jealous?! To help me realize how much of a moron I really am for liking you?!" his best friend angrily asked, striding forward with his head up. 

"You're an asshole!"

Evan squinted his eyes. "What? Why am I an asshole? I followed you and left my mum's party to see if you're okay and now you're calling me an asshole? This is absurd, don't you think?"

Jonathan pointed a finger at him. "You're an asshole because you toyed with my feelings."

"Oh, I did? Do you want to spare your time enlightening me?" he sarcastically asked. Because he was absolutely sure he didn't do anything wrong this time. He was genuinely worried about Jonathan. But at some point, he did attempt to make him jealous. And jealousy is equivalent to pain. He called his ex-girlfriend and invited her to attend his mother's party to what? To make a scene. And it wouldn't have even made sense if she ever did come. Because she already lives in the past, and his parents knew he hated her very much. Seeing her once again, at an important event, would have been disastrous since she wasn't able to establish a good relationship with his mother. So what he had planned before the party qualified him to be called an asshole. 

"Fuck you, Vanoss. FUCK YOU," he yelled and turned his back on Evan, determined to get away from him. But Evan was far more determined to make his best friend realize that nothing was wrong, that he didn't give a shit about this I-like-you thing, that he's still his best friend. That he didn't want him to leave, that he was important to him, that he was there to make him feel better. 

_Best friend..._

Jonathan likes him more than best friends. He undoubtedly would want something more than that, right? And that was what he couldn't give. He didn't want to lose Delirious, he was a part of him but what could he do? When he just doesn't swing that way? Like, alright, Jonathan is indeed very important to him. But he couldn't just hook up with him in order for him to stay, right? How could he stop him from leaving then? How? When all Jonathan wanted was to be more than friends with him. It was so hard to deal with. 

"Jonathan, please," he pleaded as he reached out a hand to wrap around the latter's forearm. "Don't go."

The other one whisked his hand away and didn't bother to look at him. "I need more time to think. Leave me alone." Sniffing was heard and it broke him.

"I'm really, really, sorry. Let's talk, please. We need to talk this out," he replied and reached for Delirious' forearm again. But the latter was persistent to running away. And he wouldn't want to let that happen. They needed to talk. He wanted to make him feel better.

"No!" Jonathan exclaimed and sobbed louder this time. "Leave me the fuck alone, Evan. Don't you see I am hurting?! What is there to talk about?! My stupidity?!"

Evan got mad. "YOU ARE NOT STUPID! BELITTLE YOURSELF ONE MORE TIME AND I'LL BE VERY ANGRY AT YOU!" he yelled back, muscles tensed. He didn't want Delirious to think that way, so negative, so maddening. He wasn't stupid, he was close to perfect. How could he just easily let that out from his mouth?

"Then that's great! Be very mad at me so I could easily move on from you!"

"Who says you could move on?!" Evan cried out and he felt his body stiff for a second, before he let out a shaky breath, followed by nervous gulps. Fuck, he was going to cry. His eyes were now watery, and he didn't know how to stop himself.

"What the fuck, Vanoss?! Where the hell did that come from, huh?!" 

Evan bit his inner cheeks before he spoke. "J-Just...stay. With me. Today. Let's go have fun, let's forget about this. Let's pretend that nothing happened. Please."

He saw Jonathan's eyebrows meet after hearing what he said. He grew more restless.

"Did you just tell me to pretend that nothing happened? And to have fun with you today? Do you really think that's fucking possible? If so, then fuck off, have a good day, I'm done with you."

And there he watched the other one walk away from him like that. So easily. Like they weren't best friends. Like they didn't share a lot of good moments together. Should he understand? Was he really that dense? What could he have done if he were in Jonathan's shoes? Would he have walked way? Or stay? There were questions on his head that he couldn't answer, and they were driving him crazy. But seeing Jonathan pass from his sight, a bit quickly, drove him even crazier.

_Fuck._

 

\--

 

Tyler was standing in front of his house while looking for the key in his bag. For some reason, he was having a hard time finding it since he has a lot of things inside, mostly retrieved from the office because he has the habit of leaving his books on his table. He hissed in annoyance when the tip of the pen hit his finger. He should really start separating his pens from his books and papers. Work was horrible for today. All he did was type and type, walk from one place to another to pass documents, print papers, make his co-workers coffee, because he was good at those. He would have complained, but he was paid with a good amount. So he didn't care anymore.

Once he got ahold of the key, he headed straightly to his room and turned his laptop on, logging in on Skype first, then his Twitter. There were a lot of tweets from the fans, from his friends, and he almost choked on his own saliva when he saw what Marcel has tweeted to him. It was a picture of Craig, holding a huge crab, and he looked like he was about to cry, or about to poop, it was indescribable. He laughed so hard and favorited the tweet, and because he was an asshole, he retweeted it. As expected, a lot of likes were gathered and he was satisfied. The thought of Craig getting mad at him was enough to excite him. He knew his friend was going to be pissed off because he looked really ugly in the picture and Craig hated that. 

Tyler was about to stand up from his seat to get fruit juice at the kitchen when there was an incoming call from Craig through Skype. He smirked slightly for he knew what the call was going to be about. It's the picture. He slowly sat down on his chair and wear his headphones on, clicking on the answer button. His eardrums almost popped when he was welcomed with Craig's sharp yell of his name three times. He groaned so loud that the person on the other line was silent for awhile, then he coughed.

"Mini, what the fuck?!" he angrily said and massaged his forehead, a way of calming himself down. Craig was always like this. He would greet Tyler with that high-pitched voice of his that could probably break mugs and glasses, then proceed to laugh with no reasons why. It was weird, but he liked it. He would sometimes scold Craig for being so talkative but would make sure that it was ok, as long as it didn't go overboard.

Tyler heard Craig snort. "I fucking hate Marcel! HE NEEDS TO DIE. HOW DARE HE!" 

"CALM THE FUCK DOWN, YOU SHITHEAD. WHAT IS THIS ABOUT?!" he yelled back and lowered the volume down, for he was sure Craig would respond to him as if he was holding a  microphone. A grin was formed when the other one blushed.

"He leaked a photo of me. I was so ugly in that picture, Tyler, help me. You're a bitch, though, for making it a favorite. You're such a bitch."

Tyler shrugged off. "Well, you love me, so I don't care."

"You abusive motherfuck--"

"So you really love me?"

Tyler ended the call. Abruptly. It was so sudden it took Tyler a minute to process what happened. He asked a shitty question, Craig responded in a shitty manner. What was his problem? He was clearly joking. He hit the call button only to receive a hung-up. He called again, and it was another hung-up. He's pissed now. Marcel got online, so he hit him up instead. Slowly, Marcel was becoming his closest friend. And probably wouldn't regret it because Marcel was fun to be with. He was funny and his sense of humour was great. He's good at jokes too.

"Hey, Tyler. What's up?"

"Mini is mad at me because of what you did. Can you invite him to join in the call? He's ignoring me," he said as he raised a middle finger at a laughing Marcel.

"I saw this coming. I knew Mini was going to vent out to you. But why is he mad at you?"

"That, I don't know. That's why you need to call him."

Marcel sighed. "Well, he's not accepting the calls. He told me to fuck off. He probably knows I'm talking to you."

"What the hell is his problem geez he's pissing me off right now. That guy surely loves drama huh?"

"You guys kinda remind me of Evan and Delirious. Sweet..." Marcel teased and he had to roll his eyes at that lame comeback.

"Fuck off, Marcel. This is all your fault. Where did you find that picture of his, anyway?”

"One time he got drunk, he sent me that and made fun of his own shit. So I saved the photo because I knew last night was going to happen. Smartass hmm?"

"You’re a brat."

"Thank you. So are you."

Tyler ruffled his hair harshly and thought about Delirious. "I wonder what happened to Evan and Delirious? Both of them haven't gotten online for like 2 days straight already, it's freaking me out." 

"Uh-oh...speaking of Delirious, I have something to share with you. And I need reassurance that you won't tell anyone else. Just you and I, Tyler. Ok?"

He nodded. "Sure, what is it?"

Marcel grinned and raised a thumb up. "Well our poor shitty Terroriser is in love with Delirious."

"...What?"

 

 

 

tbc

 

 

 

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

ooo0ooo

 

 

Jonathan's mum has been noticing a lot lately but she doesn't say anything. Her son has been acting weird and he barely eats, which is very odd because she knows how much he loves food. It surprised her too when she found out, as well, that he no longer goes online to play video games with his friends, which is something that he doesn't fail to do. She wanted to ask him but she's reluctant for she knows he's going to lie, make excuses to avoid being interrogated, and that makes her sad. She's his mother, and her son can't even open up to her about his problems. He has his own world, and he trusts his friends more than he trusts his own parents. 

Jonathan grew up in a peaceful neighborhood and everyone has been very nice to him. Since she and her husband were always busy with their jobs, Jonathan would usually be left all alone at home- with nothing but books. At that time, she never had the plans nor the decision to buy her son a computer yet for he was young and she was afraid the internet would ruin him and his studies. But Jonathan had been asking his father to get him a computer because it would help him with his homework and George had contemplated and she got scared. She talked it out with him one night- how much it would affect their son's life for the internet was a dangerous thing, it had killed children, it had harmed a lot of people. George held her hand tightly and told her that he understood. And that she was forgetting something very important.

_"You must not forget that our child is a very lonely boy. We are not home most of the time, and that scares me. I am terrified, love. He has faced nothing but books, and every time I look into his eyes, I see nothing but emptiness. If that doesn't frighten you, then I don't know what does. This is the first time our son has asked something from us. And I am not going to fail him. I am not going to."_

She agreed. It did terrify her. Her son would usually lock himself up in his room and when she would check up on him, he's just on the bed, sitting down with a book in his hands. She thought that was good, but for her husband it wasn't. Their child didn't have a social life- he was very lonely. She found out from a neighbor that Jonathan didn't even have close friends at school. Sure, he's got acquaintances but they weren't enough for him to stay out and hang out with them. He had preferred to stay at home with his books and his comfy bed. 

The night after they had the conversation, George finally purchased a computer. Jonathan was very happy, and so was she. Seeing him smile widely was very rare, and when Jonathan hugged her and his dad, she almost cried. She did cry. Her son profusely thanked them and kissed their cheeks. Her husband gave her a thumbs up and she whispered, "Job well done, honey." And that simple present changed their son so much.

Jonathan would greet them when they got home, and they would be surprised when they found out he had prepared for dinner. He was not the gloomy kid anymore, he was blooming. Emptiness was not the first thing you'd see when you looked into his eyes. You'd see cheerfulness, and he was so alive. He started to talk to them about school, how he made new friends. And she asked him if the internet helped him. And he said, "No, 'ma. But the internet sure is a fun thing." 

Until one day, she came home by herself. George wasn't able to go together with her because he had to finish stuff at the office. It didn't feel right. The living room was pitch black, and it felt like no one was home. She headed upstairs, straight to Jonathan's room, and the light from the computer monitor was the only thing she saw, for the room was dark too. She called her son out, she got no response. She walked towards the bed, and there he saw Jonathan; curled up in a ball, his shoulders shaking.

When she whispered his name, that was the time he looked up. And sobbed once more, pulling her down into a tight hug. It was so tight, and she hugged him back. She told him everything would be alright, even if didn't know the reason why he was crying. All she knew was that he needed her at the moment, and she was glad she went home earlier as before. 

When he calmed down, she asked him what happened. 

There was no response.

A week after the incident, she got to meet Jonathan's best friend at a grocery store. The girl accidentally stepped on her left shoe and quickly apologized, and then the conversation started there. She was astonished by what she had found out. Like she has had the instinct for awhile now, but she needed proof for it. And she wanted to thank the girl for being so talkative; so talkative that she just shit talked a lot about her classmates and schoolmates- you name it. She was also thankful that she liked her son, because who wouldn't like Jonathan?

Oh…there’s one.

_“Jonathan likes this guy named Luke. Luke is our senior and he knows that Jonathan has a crush on him. That cabbage patch scrub led my best friend on! Jonathan must have been really sad. I wish I could help him…but he doesn't talk to me anymore. He’s back to his loner self…I hope he’s OK, I miss my best bud.”_

She arrived home with Jonathan’s favorite things for she wanted to pamper him and send him the message that she was there for him and that she was ready to hear him out. Jonathan was just sitting on the couch, reading a book, and she smiled when he looked up. He didn't look that sad anymore- yet she knew something was behind that cheerful face. He was still probably hurting and it hurt her too.

_“No internet for today, I see?” she said as she placed the paper bags on the kitchen counter top. She saw him shrug and she had to bite her tongue to stop herself from telling him that she had met his best friend and they had talked about his sexuality. It was better for Jonathan to open up about it to her instead of her surprising him about her knowing._

_“Y-Yeah. Well, I’m not in the mood to…stuff…” he answered, albeit reluctantly, and she sighed._

_“Do you want chicken quesadillas? I could make you some,” she said, trying to brighten up the mood. And Jonathan gave him a quick smile before nodding._

_“Sure, ‘ma. I’d love to eat some…”_

Biting her lower lip, she knocked on Jonathan’s door with high hopes that he’d open it. And she waited, and waited, and when she was about to turn around to leave, she heard a click, which meant that he did it- he has opened the door.

“’Ma…” Jonathan whispered, and it was so soft she could barely hear it. She noticed the dark circles that surrounded her son’s beautiful eyes, and his nose was red, which was an indication that he had cried the entire time, most probably, and his cheeks were rose-tinted. He sniffed before looking up.

“’You need something?” he asked. She snapped out of her reverie and gasped. It’s now or never, she guessed.

“What is going on with you?!” she blurted out and worryingly cupped his cheeks, earning eye-to-eye contact, but her son refused to look at her. She was so sure he had lost weight. This was not good.

“I…I am fine. No need to worry—“

“Hush, Jonathan! What do you mean there’s nothing to worry about?! Look at you! You look hideous!”

Jonathan barked out a laugh. “Thanks. I always have, anyway.”

“You and I are going to talk. Whether you like it or not. Move along, now!"

Jonathan moved aside to let his mother in. "What is there to talk about? I'm tired, as you can see. I got no time to deal with things."

She crossed her arms on her chest and raised an eyebrow. "You will have the time. Now tell me what happened at the party. Did something happen between you and Evan, Jonathan?"

Evan Fong. Her son's best friend. She has always been fascinated by him. Evan is a smart guy, the type of guy you don't want to mess with because you might end up falling for him- instead of fighting back. He has this strange aura that even she couldn't explain. She was not referring to herself, by the way, but her son; Jonathan, who is clearly smitten. She didn't want to jump to conclusions but how could she not when it's Jonathan who was giving her clear signals? 

The bed welcomed her weight when she proceeded to sit down, as she eyed Jonathan who picked the stool in a corner. He looked so alarmed. And she had never seen him like that. He had been so cheerful, so contented with everything. She remembered when he met his Youtube friends. Wherever he went, he was leaving rainbow trails behind him and she couldn't keep up. He was a ball of sunshine. And it hurt watching him like this. So fragile, as if touching him as gently as possible was still enough to break him.

"Be honest with me. I am your mother and I am here to help you. Now tell me," she earnestly said. With bated breath, he stood up from his seat and walked towards her slowly. He took her hands from her lap and held them lightly. She saw his eyes were watery, and his thin lips were quivering, and that's when he started to sob quietly. She gripped his hands, reminding him that she was there for him, she was there to help, she was there to comfort him, and that she was there because she didn't want to fail as a mother again. She was never there for him when he cried over that high school crush, but she promised herself that t wouldn't happen again. She wondered how anyone could hurt this little boy of hers who was clearly made of nothing but sweetness? 

 "'M-Ma..." he started, both his hands and his voice shaky. "I'm sorry. I...I've been keeping this to you and dad for a very long time because I was so scared...I still am... and I don't know how to break it to you."

Jonathan gulped before he continued. "I...I'm gay," he whispered. Like he was ashamed of admitting it, and when she was about to say something, her voice broke. And it freaked him out.

"I'm so so so sorry, 'ma. I didn't mean to. I'm so sorry for disappointing you..." he said and bent over to hug her, and it was so sad because he was not supposed to apologize. She has accepted it, and it was totally fine. He's still her son, and nothing was going to change that.

"Aw my poor baby," she softly answered and rubbed his back in a gentle manner, making him cry some more. It felt like he went back to being a child once again. "Ssshh, it's ok, it's ok. Don't apologize. Mum understands ok? Ssshh now."

And they stayed like that for a couple of minutes before he started to speak.

"I...I'm in love with Evan, 'ma. I'm in love with my best friend," he muttered and rested his chin on her shoulder. "That's what happened at the party. And he knows. He knows that I love him all along. And it scares me so much. I don't know what to do."

Evan. That guy has always been sort of a mystery for her. She has heard a lot about Evan from her son and the first time she saw him definitely suited the descriptions given to her. He's indeed tall, well-built, and a very attractive boy. Her son couldn't even lay his eyes off of him. That was when she knew how smitten her son was by him. Evan is the type of guy that girls don't and shouldn't mess with for it's either you might fall for him, or you might fall for him even more. There's no in-between, and her son was a victim. And look at Jonathan now. He's an emotional wreck. 

She combs his hair with her candlelit fingers. "And what did he say?"

"He wanted us to talk it out. But there was no way I could do it. Fear got me, so I ran away from him. I needed time. I need it still. I cannot face him yet."

"Was he grossed out by it?" she asked. Jonathan released himself from the embrace and stared at her eyes. His eyes were wide-open. 

"Actually, no. He wasn't. He was calm...he was so calm. He even told me to stay."

She raised her eyebrows, surprised. "Well. Evan's mature enough to know what to do, hun. And what he did was incredible. I admire him for that. So you're sulking because of that? Look at you, you're skinnier than before!"

Jonathan bit his upper lip and mumbled an apology. She sighed and hugged him again. "When are you going to talk to him? It's been weeks."

"I can't do that. I don't think I'd ever do that. I don't even want to see him anymore," Jonathan deadpanned. 

"But it's affecting you. You should face him and talk to him, Jonathan."

"It's not that easy. I'm in love with him. And I am a guy."

She smiled. "So what? You're a lovely boy. And he's your best friend. Come to think of it, he knew about your feelings before you could tell him. He wasn't even outraged at all!"

Jonathan shook his head and stared down at the floor. "No, 'ma. I'll be fine, don't worry, ok? I'll be fine. Soon."

"Jonathan..."

He glanced at her and smiled weakly. "It'll be ok. I'll be ok."

 

 

ooo0ooo

 

 

_"Y-You're in love with Delirious?!" Brian's confession made Marcel spit the coffee he was drinking out of his mouth and he stared incredulously at Brian. They were in a Skype call and as they were discussing about Brian's outro for his Youtube video, they got to talk about Delirious. And that's when the Irish man blurted out that he likes their friend._

_Marcel found it hard to believe. Because he has always thought that this man is straight. That he likes girls, more preferably Asian women, since Brian would randomly tell them they're cute. And now, he was telling him how much he adores Delirious whom he hasn't even seen yet. Marcel felt sad, for Delirious likes Evan, and Brian definitely doesn't stand a chance, even if he forces himself to be in his life. And besides, Delirious is now in Canada._

_"Yes, I am. I've always liked him," Brian answered and smiled. His smile turned into a nervous one. "But please don't tell anyone!" he quickly added._

_Marcel rolled his eyes and immediately thought of Wildcat. Damn, he'd be telling this shit to Wildcat. He didn't like what he was hearing. He's too biased. He couldn't help Brian on this one. Instead of helping, he'd probably do things that could lead to a heartbreak. And he wouldn't want that. That would be too much._

_"Dude, why...him? He's our friend. An online friend. There's no way you guys could meet-- wait, well, you'd have to go to Canada for that," he said, which was more of an excuse, so Brian could back off._

_"I am in Canada. I want to meet him personally. Then ask him out... Oh, maybe not. That will be too sudden, right? He might hate me."_

_"You're in where?!" his asked loudly and gaped his mouth open. "Brian, you're crazy! You don't even know if the guy is straight!"_

_Well, he thought. He's not but he is Evan's..._

_"That's why I'm here. To personally meet him. Hang out with him. Get to know him better. I really like him, you know," Brian said softly, and Marcel almost melted by his tone. He's so...in love with Delirious. It's as clear as daylight, and he sighed. It was too sad._

_"Hmm...I guess you'll have to try. We'll be here just in case...you know."_

_Brian flashed a cheeky grin and gave him a thumb up. "Will do, Marcel. Thanks! Now I feel so much better!"_

_He couldn't help but return a grin too. "You're welcome, man. I wish you the best of luck."_

"Sweet Christ, Marcel. Why would you even wish him the best of luck when you obviously know what's going to happen?" Tyler asked while rubbing his forehead. He's been rubbing his forehead a lot, as what Marcel has noticed, and he laughed. His friend's too stressed out about what is happening and it was nice for that would indicate that Tyler was concerned too.

"I couldn't tell him Delirious is in love with Evan, could I? It'll be alright, ok? Knowing Delirious, he'd probably lie about being gay and reject him right away. Just like what he did when we first interrogated him about his sexuality," he calmly responded. 

"If you say so. That guy hasn't been online lately. Evan, too. I wonder what happened? Like at the party? Damn, Marcel. Could it be Delirious...?"

"Delirious what?"

Tyler shrugged. "He has confessed to Evan about his feelings and stuff? Shit, just thinking about it worries me. I don't know. I'm hoping for the best."

Marcel licked his lower lip and frowned. "We have to consider that. But still... Those bitches need to contact us as soon as possible. Selfish pricks."

"Let's just wait for them to get online. So...how about a round on GTA?"

 

ooo0ooo 

 

 

The difference between Evan and Jonathan is that the latter likes to wallow in his own misery because he thinks the sadness will just go away, while the former thinks otherwise. Evan thought that he couldn't be forever staying at his room, that he needed to go out, see his friends, forget what happened, because Jonathan has been ignoring him and he was afraid to frighten him even more if he went online. And so he didn't. He focused more on his social life, not online, but the real one. His friends would pick him up and they would treat him to a bar, and he has met a few girls, but they didn't even interest him a bit. One night at a club, all he saw was Jonathan, and he almost died of embarrassment when he hugged a guy who he thought was his best friend. He was too drunk.

It was a Sunday and he has informed his friends he'd be taking a break because he couldn't do it. He was exhausted, and going out wasn't actually helping him at all. It crushed him even more, if he could just be honest. He wasn't used to it. He missed his friends, he missed playing with them every day, he missed Jonathan, he missed their conversations, but he couldn't possibly do anything about it. The issue was still there. The issue that wasn't supposed to exist, and yet it did. It could have been prevented, but Jonathan was too obstinate.

He did try to get in contact with him. He has sent him messages, he has tried to call him, but there was no response. None at all. And he got tired. He felt so little. It was his fault for not waiting for Jonathan to open up. He scared the man. And he understood. Jonathan has probably gone through a lot of shit to hide his feelings for him, and he wasn't even considerate about it. He was such an idiot.

A knock on the main door broke him away from his thoughts. He was in the living room, watching a hockey game live, and it was funny because he wasn't even concentrating on watching. He was thinking of something else. 

Evan stood up from the couch and headed towards the door to open it, revealing Jonathan's mother, who was holding a basket full of fruits. He instinctively grabbed the basket and opened the door wider to let her inside. She smiled at him and excused herself as she went in. He offered her a seat as he walked towards the dining area to place what she has brought on the table. He wondered what the sudden visit was for, but his instinct whispered to him that it could be related to Jonathan. Was she here to scold the shit out of him? Since it was his fault mostly?

"G-Good afternoon. Uh you want coffee? Tea? U-Uh water?" he nervously asked and received a head shake. He grew more nervous. He decided to sit down in front of her and had to clean the mess he has made on the couch. He didn't know she was going to come. 

_Damn it, Evan._

She was still smiling when she spoke. "I apologize for my abrupt visit. I came here to talk with you about my son."

_I knew it!_ he mentally screamed.

"O-Oh... uhm yeah, sure. How is Jonathan, by the way?" His tone was careful. He didn't want to anger his best friend's mum.

"He's...doing ok. Which is progress after what happened at your mother's birthday party," she calmly answered and before he could ask if she knew about it, she continued to speak.

"And yes, he told me. I had to confront him. He wasn't himself these past few weeks and I was worried."

Evan bit his inner cheeks after hearing it and let out a deep sigh. "I see. I...I'm sorry."

She shook her head. "Don't say sorry. You didn't do anything wrong. In fact, you wanted to talk it out, right?"

"Y-Yeah. But still, I was too straightforward. I scared him."

"It's alright. I'll be very honest with you right now, Evan. I don't want to waste our time. I came here not to just inform you about my son and to bring you fruits. I came here to ask a favor from you. And I hope you can help me out." 

By the looks of it, he owes her a favor. So he couldn't say no. And what favor could it be? 

"I'll do my best," he responded and licked his upper lip, eager to listen to her response. The woman stood up from her seat and sat beside him. She looked like she was really hoping, and he couldn't look away, especially when she held his hands tightly. They were shaky. And he wasn't sure if it was his, or hers. He held his breath.

"My son loves you so much. Will you do me the favor of asking him out and learning to love him back?"

It felt like the room grew smaller, and smaller, and suddenly he was trapped. He forgot how to breathe out.

 

tbc


	11. Chapter 11

**ooo0ooo**

 

 

 

Evan gulped. "Y-You're asking me to ask...Jonathan out?" 

"Yes."

_Ridiculous._

It was absurd. The whole idea of dating Jonathan out of sympathy is fucking absurd. Evan's eyebrows greeted each other after hearing the serious "Yes" from his best friend's mother. He couldn't believe that this was happening-- which he thought only happens in movies and crappy tv shows. He had never imagined that this could occur to him, of all people, and it bothered him so much. He was partially annoyed, and tempted, but angry above all, because it's Delirious they were talking about. And he's pretty much sensitive when it comes to that guy. 

Evan likes Jonathan, but as friends only. Well, he's not that sure about that, but he knows he likes him not more than friends. The guy's very special, very important; he's like the pencil while he's the eraser, and he doesn't want to lose him completely by trying to date him. That's all about it. And what does Jonathan's mother expect? He'd fall in love with Jonathan? It was outrageous! What was she thinking? Dating someone with no love doesn't exist in his vocabulary. There's no way he'll do it.

There's no way.

"I won't do it," he said, finality was evident in his voice, making the old woman gasp softly. 

"W-Why not?" she asked. Evan looked away and sighed. Does he really have to explain?

"Why should I date my best friend when I don't even have feelings for him? I'm sorry, but I don't want to hurt Jonathan even more. I have already hurt him and there's no way I'd hurt him again. I've been really depressed not having him around me and there's nothing I can do about that, so if I were to date him, it would make matters worse. I hope you understand."

She looked deeply into his eyes. "But my son loves you."

He gradually shook his head and placed a palm on his forehead, massaging it gently.

"And I don't. That should be enough reason to say no," he closed his eyes as he took a shaky breath before speaking. 

"W-Well, I do love him, but not...not like that. He's my best friend..." he elaborated. He stood up from his seat and looked down at the older one who was giving him a kind stare. "I'm really sorry."

"I understand. I should have thought about this. I didn't think...I'm really sorry," she apologised, rising up from the couch and fixing her shoulder bag. Her hands were shaking and Evan felt so bad; it's like he was so powerless and there's nothing he could do. What she was asking from him was screwy. It's Jonathan's feelings he was thinking of and worried about. He has decided.

"Thank you, Evan. You really are a very nice friend. My son is lucky to have you...that is, if he still does," she said, and smiled. He smiled back at her. 

"Jonathan will always have me. Kindly send my regards to him."

 

 

**ooo0ooo**

 

_Another missed call from Evan._

_Another missed call he ignored, yet secretly liked._

_Jonathan doesn't understand why he's doing it but he really likes the idea of being chased by Evan. Well, not really chased, but seeing the amount of missed calls he receives a day just does it. It's been like weeks already since he last saw Evan and talked to him and he must admit he's been craving him a lot lately. And he could only blame himself. He has also been tempted to go online and ask how his friends are doing but even that scares him, too. He's scared of what Tyler and Marcel would say about what happened. Would they call him a pussy? A sore loser? Not only that, he's pretty sure the two of them were probably expecting something nice, and that is something he cannot offer. Because what happened at the party totally ruined what he had pictured out at first._

_Not having Evan in his every day life is like sketching without a pencil and sheets of paper. But what can he do, right? He's too weak; emotionally and mentally. Now he can't help but wonder how Evan's currently doing. Is he fine? Is he still talking with the guys? Is he always online? He has always wanted to check his Youtube channel to see what's up but he's avoiding that one as well. He has been wondering what had happened to Evan after that incident. And it hurt; a little bit, knowing that the other one might be just fine. Probably finer than ever for there's no more Delirious staying around. He just realised how lonely of a human being he actually is without his best friend. He has neighbours, alright, but he was very much satisfied with having Evan. And now that the man is gone-- forever-- it's just bullshit. This is why he shouldn't have agreed to living in Canada and just stayed in North Carolina with his mum, perhaps._

_Jonathan blinked when he heard another beep from his phone. A message. He silenced his phone on purpose the other night because it has been getting more and more difficult to ignore Evan but the excitement he would feel from making it hard for Evan to get to communicate with him was really good. So he had to change the settings again, picking the loudest volume for his notification tone. He breathed a sigh before grabbing his phone, ending up opening the said message. This ludicrousness needs to stop. He's been making every thing worse. It's about time he makes up with him-- makes out with him...He blushed. What a hopeless romantic._

_**We need to talk.**  The message read. An eyebrow was raised as he typed in a quick reply; obviously done intentionally to pique Evan's interest and have him reply fast. _

_**What do you want?** _

_Jonathan almost fell out of the bed when the next thing he got was a call from the other one. His heart was beating so fast and how he wished the floor would just crack open to swallow him alive because he knew he was fucked. He knew he shouldn't have replied. He wasn't prepared yet. He's an airhead. But it was too late for him to regret what he has done. Evan's calling him. He groaned a bit loudly and pressed his face in his pillow, mocking himself and within seconds, he courageously pressed the answer button. And then that was it; the phone was pressed against his right ear, hearing that particular voice he had missed so badly._

_"Delirious," Evan greeted, in a very serious tone, albeit full of worry, and his heart...He needed to chill the fuck out._

_"E-Evan," he greeted back and bit his upper lip, feeling uncomfortable in this situation he's currently in. There was definitely no chance to escape._

_"Thank god you answered. I've been calling you for weeks. What's wrong with you, Delirious? Why are you doing this to me?"_

_He cleared his throat. "W-What do you mean?"_

_"I love you. Let's make up now."_

"Fucking bitch ass of a dream," Jonathan murmured and sighed as he placed a box of his favourite chocolate chip cookies in the shopping cart. He decided to just go grocery shopping since he ran out of snacks and he's got nothing better to do. He was so bored at home and he figured out that it was definitely not the best time to talk with his friends again. He wasn't prepared. Not yet. And the dream he had last night totally didn't help. He dreamed of Evan; he dreamed of him confessing to him. Which was really funny since it was too impossible and crazy. 

"I'm so sorry! I lost my wallet!" said a guy whose voice caught Jonathan's attention. It was seemingly familiar so instead of checking out his list to buy more food, he went straight to the counter, only to see a tall man with brownish locks. The man's back was facing him so he couldn't see his face. He was profusely apologising to the cashier. 

Squinting his eyes, Jonathan noticed the shy smile the cashier offered to the man. It was the kind of smile someone would give to the person that they like. And worse, she was sort of blushing. The guy must be attractive or something. Curious, he walked closer, pushing his shopping cart along with him, and so he heard the voice as clear as daylight. He blinked.

 _Terroriser!_ his mind screamed, letting go of the cart and having it run towards Brian. It hit his hip. That was pretty much the same thing that happened between him and Evan on their first day of meeting. He bumped into him by accident, and now it's happening again. This time, with Brian. The look Brian sent him definitely gave him the chills. And those chills were enough to make him blush. The latter was still looking down at him. Damn, he's freaking tall. Like Evan. And his skin is milky up close too. His eyes are the beautiful kind-- the pair of eyes you wouldn't want to stare at during daytime; because it might suck your soul up without permission. The man totally looks different in person.

"I-I'm sorry, Terrori---uh, yes," he apologised, lips wobbling. He was so embarrassed for blurting his name out like that as if he knew him-- well he does know him-- and it's a huge problem. Evan's like the only one who has ever seen his face and he probably wouldn't want the others to find out what his actual physical appearance is. I mean, he's kind of aware that he's not a hottie like the rest of his friends and he thinks of it as a curse. His life sucks like that.

And then he saw Brian smile. It was perfect. It was like the heavens opened and beautiful angels came out playing their lovely music with their harps, informing him that, yes, he really is staring at someone elegant. Beautiful.

"Y-You know me?" Brian asked timidly albeit smiling gently, scratching the back of his neck so cutely that Jonathan heard the cashier sigh lovingly. He looked around, checking if there were a lot of customers, and thank god there weren't that much and it was just the two of them in that particular cashier lane. 

Jonathan didn't answer Brian's question, and instead turned his head to get the lady's attention by clearing his throat. 

"Y-Yes?" she asked. He took out all the items from the cart he had grabbed by the shelves and placed them on the checkout counter right next to Brian's stuff. Grabbing his wallet out of his pocket, he gave Brian a quick glance, grinning. 

"I'm paying for your shit," he said, waiting for the cashier to tell him the exact amount to pay. He heard Brian whisper a soft "Thank you," and he almost felt like crying. It was too adorable. The other one was still giving him the goofy smile and he got the urge to punch him in the face. Never had he given Brian to do that to him, not even when they would usually play a game together without their friends. He abruptly wonders if the taller man has the idea that it's him.

After paying, Jonathan swiftly snatched the paper bag away and glanced at Brian who was picking up his own things too, a bit slowly because he was having problems with his backpack. They started to walk towards the escalator. 

And then it hits him.

_Why the fuck is Brian in Canada?_

Isn't he from Dublin? How is he here? The last time they talked, he was still in North Carolina and they were just sharing ideas on how to improve their videos. Brian didn't disclose anything about him going to Canada, though. Now he's interested. Could it be Evan invited him? He's positive Brian doesn't know anyone from Canada except Evan. 

 "Hey," Brian called. He lifted his eyebrows with a hum. 

"Are you...somewhat a fan of mine? Or...my friends'?" 

"No. I just happened to know you," he pompously answered, earning a grin from his friend. He chuckled.

"Kidding. Yes, I am a fan of yours. But...I guess you can say I'm more of a fan of Delirious." 

Like geez who doesn't like Delirious? Who doesn't want Delirious? Who doesn't love Delirious? Right?

... _Evan, you lil shit_ , and his thought was enough for him to be depressed the whole day, even if Terroriser is right next to him, face obviously showing worry. Jonathan finds it quite funny how Brian hasn't thought that he's H2O Delirious. Unlike Evan who found it out the very first day of their meeting, most probably, then confirmed it the second time they met. It's likely because they're very close and Evan is his best friend; was...is. Who's to say, really? 

"Are you alright?" Brian asked. He nodded. 

"Yes. 'Just...thought of something, heh, don't mind me."

Jonathan hears Brian mumble something. "What are trying to say?"

The other one shrugged, eyebrows knitting calmly. "You sound familiar. You sound like Delirious. Maybe it's just me," said he while laughing.

"How so?"

Maybe it's fine. It's Brian. He's someone that he trusts a lot, and he bets Brian won't run away just in case he tells him that he really is Delirious. Jonathan really needs to calm down, especially when it comes to his friends. He couldn't sweep the idea that his friends might find him unattractive and judge him and belittle him for being like this-- ugly and dumb. Here we go again, he clearly criticised himself just now. 

Brian cleared his throat before looking down at him. "Well, first of all, your voice. It's husky, like Delirious'. I know there are a lot of people out there with a voice such as yours, but there's just... it's something different. Delirious' voice is unusual. Secondly, your appearance..."

Jonathan inhaled. "W-What about it?"

"This is how I imagined Delirious to be," Brian sincerely replied, staring at him ever so quietly and softly, and there he exhaled. 

"Oh."

 

**ooo0ooo**

 

 

Marcel's eyes grew wide when he saw Evan go online on Steam, instantly sending the other one a message before he could go offline. Evan has been doing that a lot; going online, then poof--suddenly going offline. It's been annoying him and their friends lately because they missed the Asian man so much and it's like he's so insensitive of how they feel. Sure, he must be having some sort of personal problems at the moment and he doesn't want to bother them but what he is doing is just not fair to all of them. That's why they are his friends--meaning, he could come to them and ask for advice, etc. Craig has been asking him how Evan and Jonathan were, Tyler has been a mad fuck too and he couldn't handle him pretty well, and so are the rest. Marcel's quite certain that something happened between those two. They both disappeared at the same time and never returned. Which is why they've been getting on their nerves. 

 _Hey, Marcel_ - **Evan**

 _WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN, YOU SCRUB_ - **Marcel**

 _Whoa capslock... control your temper, pls_ - **Evan**

 _HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT_ - **Marcel**

 _YOU'RE A DICK, EVAN_ - **Marcel**

 _Gee thanks, like tell me something new_ - **Evan**

 _Ily 2_ - **Evan**

 _YOU HAVEN'T ANSWERED ME QUESTION YET_ - **Marcel**

 _*my_ - **Marcel**

 _Home? Where else lol how have ya been_ - **Evan**

 _DON'T YOU DARE ASK ME THAT EVAN YOU SOUR BITCH_ - **Marcel**

 _Sour?! I could feel the love, really @-@_ - **Evan**

 _I've been good. We missed you..._ - **Marcel**

 _No capslock? :O This better be some serious shit_ - **Evan**

Marcel licked his upper lip as he carefully typed in his reply.

 _Where is Delirious?_ - **Marcel**

No reply. He glanced at the wrist watch and checked the time. It's been a minute, and there was no fucking reply from Evan yet. Could he be typing a whole essay to express how he really feels about the situation? His situation with Delirious? Or maybe typing about his feelings? 

2 minutes. No reply.

He clicked on the chat box to verify if Evan has logged out without his knowledge. But he's still there. He is still online. He was going to send another message when he heard the notification alert tone.

 _Home, maybe. He's ignoring me_ - **Evan**

Marcel gasped, trying to connect his ideas with Tyler's. Tyler could have been right all along. Delirious must have confessed and got rejected and now he's avoiding Evan to heal. But he shouldn't jump to conclusions. It's not like he trusts his intuition anyway. It kind of sucks, to be honest.

 _DID SOMETHING HAPPEN BETWEEN YOU GUYS_ - **Marcel**

 _Nah_ - **Evan**

 _He's just being a lil bitch that he is_ - **Evan**

 _He's not a bitch ok_ - **Evan**

 _Just kidding_ - **Evan**

 _BE SERIOUS OMG DID SOMETHING HAPPEN, EVAN_ - **Marcel**

 _EVAN BE HONEST_ - **Marcel**

 _Nothing ok chill_ - **Evan**

 _Has he been online? Have you guys talked_ - **Evan**

 _No_ - **Marcel**

 _Right when you disappeared, so did he_ - **Marcel**

 _You guys are the best of friends what the hell's going on_ - **Marcel**

 _Dunno people change I guess_ - **Evan**

 _How cryptic_ - **Marcel**

"Fuck you, Evan. Since you're not gonna be honest, I might as well use Terroriser. Now let us see your reaction," he whispered to himself, typing.

 _Oh btw Terroriser is in Canada_ - **Marcel**

 _wHAT_ - **Evan**

 _What, really_ - **Evan**

 _Why_ - **Evan**

 _To meet me?_ - **Evan**

Marcel grinned. 

 _NO HAHAHAHAHA NICE TRY THOUGH_ - **Marcel**

 _He badly wants to meet Delirious_ - **Marcel**

 _Delirious?_ - **Evan**

 _Oh_ - **Evan**

 _But he doesn't know where Delirious lives, does he_ - **Evan**

 _BUT I DO_ - **Marcel**

 _What dO YOU MEAN_ - **Evan**

 _do you mean*_ - **Evan**

 _I gave him the address_ - **Marcel**

 _WHEN_ - **Evan**

 _The other day_ - **Marcel**

 _REALLY_ - **Evan**

 _Why would Terroriser want to meet Delirious_ - **Evan**

 _Does he like Delirious_ - **Evan**

Marcel laughed and decided to wait for five minutes to reply to Evan. He wants to torture the other one and he thinks he's doing the right thing because Evan couldn't stop sending him messages over and over again.

 _Does he_ - **Evan**

 _Marcel, you fucking reply to me right now_ - **Evan**

 _Does he like Delirious_ - **Evan**

 _Does hje_ - **Evan**

 _he*_ - **Evan**

 _Fuck typos_ - **Evan**

Marcel sighed. Jealousy, really. Look what it's doing to his friend. 

 _Yes he does_ - **Marcel**

 _More than friends actually_ - **Marcel**

 _Are you jealous_ - **Marcel**

 _..._ - **Evan**

"Victory," Marcel smiled to himself as he looked for Tyler's name on his Steam friends' list. Now he has great news to share with the other one and he's so excited. 

 _Whatever_ - **Evan**

 

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, guys! I am back! I am terribly sorry for being /very/ late! 
> 
> These past few months were really the death of me. I fell into depression and had to seek a therapist to help me get by. I was so down, I thought so lowly of myself, I couldn't write, I couldn't draw, I couldn't do anything. I was a ball of negativity and I hated everyone. I hated writing, and at that time, I was thinking, "I'll never ever continue this story," but then, I saw the light again. I slowly got back to my feet, and now I am functioning quite well. I am happy, I am stable (mentally and physically) and I am starting to enjoy life once again. For those guys who never stop believing in me, thank you so much! Your comments helped me a lot! I love you, all. I promise I won't fail you anymore.
> 
> VANIRIOUS FOREVER! H2OVANOSS FOREVER!

oo00oo

 

 

Two AM.

Evan groans as he turns to the other side of his bed with his phone in his hand. Someone just sent him a message at a very ungodly hour when the world is supposed to be dead asleep. He doesn't appreciate being awoken but here he is, still curiously checking who could have texted him. He rubs his eyes and opens the message, revealing his mother's name on the screen with her alarming message. 

Evan has always had in mind that two AM is too early for him to get up and do his daily activities but after reading what his mum has sent him, he throws that thought aside. He suddenly forgets that it's past midnight already.

His father's in the hospital.

When he was eight, he awoke from the sound of his mother's cries over the phone, talking to a friend. He could barely hear what she was saying but he figured out that something wrong was happening. He got out of bed and walked towards her listlessly. Young Evan discovered that his father got in a vehicular accident. And his mum was feeling so helpless for she was in Canada and his dad happened to be in New York. All they could do was get updates from a close friend who was travelling with his dad. It was such a horrible memory. 

Evan didn't bother changing his clothes when he decided to go to the hospital right away. The cold win greets him as he makes his way to his car, causing him to shiver and pinch the bridge of his nose. He needs to hurry.

In the car, Evan ponders over the tiny details in his conversation with Marcel. So Brian is now in Canada and has probably met Jonathan. Marcel added that the Irish man is in love with their friend but for him, it's ridiculous. He's damn sure that Brian's a straight fucker who is so into tits and vaginas. Nothing more. He couldn't understand Marcel's treatment to him, though. It's like he was trying to get on his nerves, throwing hints at him. He didn't really know where he's getting at. It's not like Marcel knows about what happened between him and Jonathan at the part, right?

Or does he...?

Didn't Jonathan mention it during their confrontation? That he could have known about Jonathan's feelings for him because of Marcel and Tyler? Evan shakes his head and clucks his tongue loudly. He doesn't want to think about Jonathan. He's been thinking about the other one a lot lately and dear god has he tried his best to get rid of it yet he just couldn't. It is maddening. It's driving him crazy. There was a night when he was tempted to call Jonathan and apologise and ask him how he's been doing. But he pussied out. He wasn't courageous enough, yes. Even if he badly wanted to, something just kept on blocking his way. What if Jonathan doesn't want him anymore? What if Jonathan has finally realised that he is perfectly doing fine without him? Now that Brian is in Canada, he can replace him easily. After all, Jonathan and Brian are kind of close.

_HONK HONK!_

Evan snaps out of his distasteful thoughts when he heard the loud sound. The traffic light has turned to green already. He honks back to the car behind him as an apology before stepping on the accelerator.

 

\--------

 

The smell of alcohol and medicines linger on his nose when he arrived at the Emergency Department. This is why he doesn't like hospitals--never will. The place is packed with doctors and nurses who are busy running around and attending patients on their respective trolleys. Evan sighs as he takes his phone out of his pocket to call his mother. But before he could, he spots her sitting on a bench which is quite far from where he is standing. He scratches his left cheek lightly as he makes slow steps closer to her. His mother is just looking down at the floor with a worried look in her face. She is probably crying.

"Mum," Evan softly greets and places a gentle hand on her trembling shoulder. His mother glances up and offers him a sad smile. 

"What happened to dad?" he continues and takes a seat beside her. "I was just talking to him over the phone a few hours ago."

His mother shakes her head slowly. "Another car accident," she answers. "But it wasn't his fault. He's not even drunk or anything. George said a car suddenly appeared out of nowhere and hit them. The driver was high and intoxicated."

Evan's forehead wrinkles. "Uncle George was with dad?"

She nods. "Yes. But unlike your dad, he isn't badly hurt. He's over there, having his stitches done," she says, pointing at a corner.

Evan follows the direction and spots someone, sitting on a stool next to George's bed. He still has his pajamas on and Evan couldn't help but admire the sight. The knot in his stomach tightens when Jonathan fractionally turns his head toward him. And he couldn't look away. So their eyes casually met. Evan swears his heart is about to jump out of his chest. He sees Jonathan blinking at him like an idiot and opening his mouth in astonishment. He may be didn't expect him to be there. He should have known. Before either of them could react, Evan avoids Jonathan's gaze and stands up from his seat.

"Mum, I'll go check up on Uncle George. I'll be right back, ok?"

The cheerless old lady could only give him a nod and that is enough for him to stroll toward Jonathan's area.

 

 

oo00oo

 

"Hey Jona--"

"Here I got water for you."

Evan stops dead right in his tracks when he spots a guy offering Jonathan a bottle of water. His eyes widen gradually, for he knows--he knows who the guy is. It's no other than Brian himself. He can't look away as the other one hands the water bottle to Jonathan with sparkles in his eyes when their hands touch, and he seems to be enjoying the way Jonathan opens the colourfully decorated bottle cap--smiling, and pretending that it is hard. 

Evan tries to look at the floor, his slippers, forward, but for a second he looks up only to see Jonathan's eyes at him. It lasts a split second in which they both know they're staring and Evan gulps. He's suddenly dumbfounded. He doesn't know what to say, it's like everything he's had in mind earlier for Jonathan just vanished. He was going to greet him, then Brian came, he felt lost, now it's game over.

"Evan!"

 _Fuck!_ he thinks and does his best to fake a smile, seeing Brian walk towards him with a hand in the air. He accepts the greeting. After all, this is their very first meeting and truth be told, his Irish friend really looks gorgeous. More than him. That may hurt, but well... he has to admit it. At least he has a good built. That's the only thing he could be proud of at the moment. 

"Dude, it's so nice to meet you in person! I am so happy, man!" Brian blurts out, almost hugging him from the side. 

Evan doesn't have anything against the man. He actually considers Brian to be one of his close friends. He usually has so much fun making videos with the other one especially when he does that Terminator voice. The only problem is, though, after hearing from Marcel that Jonathan's the sole reason why Brian went to Canada, he has been feeling anxious. About it. He cannot stop thinking about the two and it's making him angry for he cannot get answers. If Brian really likes Jonathan more than friends, he could have just visited the latter when he was still residing in North Carolina.

Evan sees Brian glancing at Jonathan for a second and he takes a deep breath. This is pissing him off.

"So," he speaks in a calm tone, "are you guys hooking up or something?" he asks, out of nowhere, when the place suddenly falls quiet. Evan swears he wants the floor to crack wide open and swallow him alive for what he did was just so stupid and out of the line. He needs to learn how to keep his mouth shut, obviously. That question was supposed to stay in his head, so it took him by surprise when he blurt it out so calmly, so casually.

"What?" asks Jonathan back. Unimpressed.

Evan tries to give him a cold stare. "What?"

"What is wrong with you?" This time, Jonathan's voice is serious. And Evan doesn't understand because he likes it. He wants to make Jonathan angrier. It's like a craving.

"And what is wrong with you?" he playfully returns with a smirk. Evan is about to add more when Brian holds his arm. 

"Okay, Evan," Brian pips in, "we are not hooking up. We are just good friends," he explains.

It's so useless for Brian to hide his real feelings for Delirious when it is clearly showing-- just by the stares he gives Jonathan. Evan is already aware, thanks to Marcel who shared that personal information with him. He still doesn't get why Marcel even did that. It could have been a secret. Who knows?

Evan looks at Brian, and god knows how he really tries his best not to scoff at him.

"And you're not gay, I know," Evan replies, voice subtly teasing. "I was just kidding." 

He diverts his gaze at Jonathan who is now giving him a middle finger. He chuckles softly. It is so cute to see him like that. All mad and annoyed.

"Relax, Delirious," he sings and glances back at Brian. "Since when did you arrive? You could have at least contacted me."

Brian scratches his head. "I'm sorry, man. I arrived a couple of weeks ago. And yes, I could have. I should have. I just forgot."

Evan cocks an eyebrow, his sight slowly going back to Jonathan who is eyeing him carefully as well.

"Oh, I see. So what's the reason of your sudden visit?" he asks. He sees Jonathan gulp.

"I've been really wanting to travel so I thought maybe it's time I go to Canada. I don't regret coming here, I promise. Canada is so beautiful."

Evan's still staring at Jonathan when he replies. "I know. It is indeed beautiful," and goes back to Brian.

"Until when are you going to be here?"

"Hmm, I don't know. Brian answers. "I'm enjoying my stay here so far!"

"And where are you staying?"

"Delirious' house. Wonderful, huh?! It's like I won the lottery haha."

Evan clears a lump in his throat after hearing that. Okay, he surely didn't expect that. So that's why Jonathan has never bothered to contact him. He has a new boy to fuck with and it just so happens to be Brian. And what the fuck? Brian is currently staying at their house? He's so enraged. That's so wrong.

"Oh, uh..." he softly says. Oh shit, he has to go back to his mother. The tension is too much for him to handle. He nods and gives Brian a tap on the shoulder.

"That's really good to hear, Terroriser. Anyway, I'll leave you guys for now. I have to go and take care of my mum. See you in awhile, and nice meeting you again!" He takes a look at Jonathan once again, before turning his back.

And he hurriedly leaves the vicinity. He doesn't want Jonathan to see his ugly and pathetic face.

He is hurting.

This is bad.

 

 

oo00oo

 

Jonathan's heart stopped when Evan tore his gaze away from him and left. It's been a long time since they last saw each other and he is still in pain. He doesn't know how to move on, to be quite honest. The more they don't talk, the more he falls for Evan. He has tried every single thing he could find on the internet. He has had a haircut, he has changed his fashion (from tees to short-sleeved polo shirts because Brian said he looks more amazing in them). he has been having a well-balanced diet so he's kind of lost weight, and so on. Maybe he'll have a new hair dye, too. Speaking of Brian, the man has been really helpful. He is always there for him and he cannot thank him enough. They've grown closer to each other especially now that his parents know of Brian. His parents also welcomed him so dearly in their own humble abode until the man decides to come back to Dublin.

Brian's such a sweetheart.

If only he was the one whom Jonathan fell in love with.

Jonathan sighs as he slowly looks at his father who is now talking to his mum while lying down on the trolley. He's still surprised about what happened. This is like the very time for his father to be involved in a car accident. His father is okay, though. But Evan's dad isn't. And that's what making him worry so much. He could still remember the look in Evan's face when they stared at each other. Should he have just talked to him properly?

_You're a horrible person, Delirious._

Jonathan feels guilty and after seeing Evan's retreating back, he feels like running toward him to explain to him that nothing's going on between him and Brian because Evan's still the only one he loves. But then he really doesn't have the right to do so, does he? It's not like their feelings are mutual. Come to think of it, it's so much better to leave everything like this. They are not friends, they're strangers.

But why does his heart ache? 

 

oo00oo 

 

Jonathan's mother asked him to visit Evan's dad so he excused himself. This time, Brian didn't come along with him because he was talking to someone over the phone. Maybe his parents? Or a friend? Jonathan shrugs at the thought as he makes baby steps toward the room where Mr. Fong's confined in. 

He opens the door and takes a moment to absorb the surrounding. It's cosy, he admits, and there can be some personal space here and there, as he walks through the room. The only thing he’s a little uncomfortable with is that the walls are all painted white, and he thinks how he used to favour white so much, and he feels a slight ache somewhere in the middle of his chest.

He meets Evan when he’s finally in the room; the other guy was peeling and coring apples, so Jonathan leans against the door frame and waits patiently until he is noticed. He sees the high cheekbones and very defined jaw line and he has always kept this note somewhere in his mind and he thinks as he lifts his hand to be noticed, that perhaps this can be a rather good head start for the both of them. Maybe he will be able to forget about his feelings by befriending his best friend. Maybe.

Just maybe.

 

oo00oo

 

Evan sees a hand out of the corner of his eye as he peels apples. He slightly turns his head to the right to see whom it is. Placing the knife on the table carefully, he makes his way to the man who is leaning against the door. Such a lovely sight. He doesn't speak, though. He just stares, and stares, until his eyes turn white and he forgets to breathe. What the hell is happening to him? He cannot and doesn't understand himself anymore. He wants to ask Jonathan if he did something to him which might involve a bit of witchcraft for what he had done.

Jonathan stares back.

And it's like the room suddenly grew small.

 _Talk to me_ , Evan thinks as he blinks, licking his lips which have been quite dry for awhile. He watches Jonathan looking down at the floor, then at the ceiling, then back at him. He looks really nervous and Evan wants to punish the other one more by making him feel more uncomfortable.

_Open your mouth and fucking speak already._

Evan crosses his arms against his chest. At that moment, neither of them dares to speak. They're just being dumb. If not at their faces, they stare somewhere else. But it always ends with an eye contact.

_What is wrong with me?_

"Jonathan," he eventually starts. The guy in front of him scratches the back of his neck, gulping loudly.

"Y-Yes," Jonathan responds. "I'm just here to ask how your father is doing...Well, is...is he all right?"

Evan nods. "Yes, he's fine now. Thanks for asking."

"Y-You're welcome. Uhm... Hmmm..." Jonathan is biting his lower lip now. It upsets Evan. He doesn't want this type of conversation. 

"You're so awkward," he comments, earning a glare from the other one.

He opens the door and signals the other one to follow him. Jonathan follows. 

"Let's not talk there. My dad might wake up."

"Where is your mum?"

"Talking to the doctor."

 

oo00oo

 

The wind is cold when they're finally out of the hospital. Jonathan can hear the trees gushing by their leaves as they sway together with the wind. Crickets can also be heard in the background, releasing sounds of awkwardness and certainty that Evan is really there--with him. He can no longer remember the last time he has done this. He used to stay up so late that he even wondered how the moon could stare down at him for so long. The stars would shine upon him, too. They were probably mocking him for being so dramatic. 

Jonathan's gaze falls upon Evan who is breathing rather slowly with his hands dug in his pockets while looking down at his slippers. His heart totally yearns for this guy. He doesn't get why he's still pining for him when Evan has rejected him already. When will he ever learn his lesson?

Evan is plainly tired because he cannot stop yawning and Jonathan wants to tell him off then leave. Talking to Evan didn't visit his mind at all when he went to Mr. Fong's room to check if he's well and properly rested. It really didn't occur to him. Has he known this would happen, he could have reminded himself early to stop being bungle-some. 

Jonathan heaves noisily when Evan starts speaking again. And it is just a "So". My god, he's so stupid. He needs to halt himself from being a klutz around the man he still likes.

"Are you okay? You seem nervous," Evan chuckles softly, hugging himself tightly and puffing breaths everywhere he stands.

Jonathan bites his inner cheeks before replying. "Well, I am. And I hate it."

Evan nods understandingly. His eyes show gentleness. "I know. I hate it too, to be honest. I can't decently talk to you when you're being an awkward twat."

He gasps dramatically, rolling his eyes at the taller man.

"You're still an asshole, I see. You haven't changed at all."

Evan gives him a smirk while crossing his arms. "I know someone who fell in love with me despite my rudeness. I'm not sure if he still does, though."

Bemused and embarrassed for what Evan has remarked, Jonathan looks the other way and tries to focus on the trees and the wide field of mowed grass in front of them. The moonlight covers the whole place, and Jonathan doesn't want anything else but to lie down on the grass and rest there. Seeing Evan after such a long time drained his energy. Especially now that the other one's appearance might have changed a little bit.

"Are you cold?"

Jonathan glances at his friend whose eyes are darted over the surface of his face. He shakes his head so fast that he might give himself vertigo. 

"No," he mutters softly. He cannot trust himself to speak. He's so positive he's going to end up showering Evan with sweet words which are what he truly feels for him. And everything, including this very moment, will fall back to phase one.

Evan is scared of him and Jonathan's scared of his own feelings. 

"And I don't know what you're talking about, you dickbag," he responds ever so coldly to what Evan has said from earlier. He goes back to admiring the view, forgetting Evan's presence.

"Of course you do. I was referring to you in the first place."

Jonathan breathes deeply.

_Damn it, Evan. Fuck you so much._

"You fool," Evan adds. His chuckles just made Jonathan blush hard like a pathetic teenager. 

 

 

oo00oo

 

The word beautiful is something that Evan avoids to use. For him, its meaning is really distinctive and he has never used it to anybody. Not even to his past lovers. They didn't deserve it in the first place. All they did was break his heart and left him. But he had called them pretty, cute, adorable, sometimes funny. Those words were nothing special, anyway. He knew the girls would love to hear those endearments from their lovers. 

How the moonlight paints Jonathan's figure made him think that it is quite possible for guys to be called beautiful. But Jonathan is a guy, therefore he should not be called that. Guys can't be beautiful. No, they can't be.

Evan shivers as the cold breeze hits his body. He regrets not bringing a coat. He immediately looks at Jonathan who is busy looking at the view. The field is really nice due to the moon's radiance. And thanks to that, he can properly check Jonathan out without any problem. Jonathan is really different now. Not only the appearance. And he's afraid that Jonathan's feelings might have changed, too. Not the more-than-friends feelings, by the way. He meant the feelings that Jonathan had invested in to their friendship before.

Evan licks his lips and speaks. They have wasted too much time already. Their friends have been worried about them, especially Marcel and Tyler, and Brian is now in Canada. Evan can't waste more of the remaining time he has. Now that he has Jonathan with him, just the two of them, under the dark sky, with the stars shamelessly showing their brightness upon them, he needs to do something. 

_It's now or never, Evan._

"It's been a long time, Jonathan. When are we making up?"

Jonathan shrugs and eyes him gently. "I don't know. Maybe...Maybe when I finally get over this bullshit."

"But I want you back. Stop being so selfish," he replies, tone slightly high. How long will that even take? Months? A year? Fucking years? That's too much torture already.

"I am not being selfish. I just don't want you to feel disgusted even more."

He sneers. "Who says I am disgusted?"

Jonathan doesn't answer. This is something new for Evan to see. He has always seen a lively Jonathan, the type of person who doesn't care about anything, and having a very uneasy Jonathan is so weird. But it doesn't change the fact that Jonathan is so natural. His damp hair is raffled and his eyes are tired. Evan can see the other one's lips tremble slightly, and they relax when he breathes in. He's like a painting.

Evan waits, and waits, and right when he's about to speak again, the older one talks. 

"You--the way you looked...when you confronted me at the party said so. You were grossed out. It was like you saw a dog get murdered."

Evan plasters a frown as he listens intently. Apparently, he doesn't like where Jonathan is getting at. What he's saying is absolute nonsense. Jonathan turns around and leans against the railing, sighing silently to himself. He bites his tongue when he is about to comment how beautiful he is doing that and how much he despises it because guys could never be beautiful. Just cool, awesome, amazing. That's all. 

Jonathan diverts his gaze from the ground to him, and even if their eyes are meeting, the older one's pair was unfocused. It's like he's looking at the air, not him. 

"I still like you, Evan. I like you. Do you understand? My feelings for you didn't change," says Jonathan whose voice is a bit shaky  and low albeit filled with certainty. So he still has feelings for him. 

Evan slowly walks over to where Jonathan is standing. He breathes in and out as he waits for more, looking at Jonathan in the eyes. His eyes glance down at Jonathan's lips for a split second before meeting them again. 

"I am not disgusted, Delirious. To tell you frankly, my life has been really dull ever since the party," he speaks in all honesty. A hint of blush appears on the smaller one's cheeks and Evan mentally curses for finding it adorable. 

It is true, nonetheless. His life has never been the same when Jonathan started to ignore the shit out of him. He seriously misses his best friend and he'll do anything. Just to have him back.

Jonathan remains quiet. He continues.

"Do you really like me? I bet you're just fucking with me--"

"No!" Jonathan exclaims as he holds onto the hem of Evan's shirt. "I am not fucking with you! I...I really, really like you," he proceeds with a hint of desperation in his voice. He looks like he's going to cry, too. 

Evan, out of instinct, lifts his hand and cups Jonathan's cheek, caressing it as gently as ever. His skin is smooth, like a newborn baby, and had he known it was this soft to hold, he could have done it a long time ago. He hears Jonathan gasp and stare at him with his eyes wide-open, together with his thin lips which are slightly open too. Evan blinks. He thinks that oh okay, maybe guys can be beautiful, too. Because Jonathan is one of them. He's beautiful. Feeling the cold breeze that surrounds them once again ,they both shiver. 

"Go out with me, Delirious," Evan whispers so sweetly. 

Jonathan parts his lips slowly and lets go of his shirt. Evan can hear the fast beating of his heart and he tries his best to hide his hands from shaking. He is not dreaming. This is not a dream. He really did ask Delirious to go out with him. If it's the only way to get him back...he'll do it. He doesn't care anymore. 

_Even if I don't feel the same way... As long as I have him..._

 

 

 

 -tbc-


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god I don't even know what I am doing anymore. This chapter is shit, I know. I kept deleting details, re-adding them, then back to deleting. Writing about my OTP having sex with the other one not even sure about his feelings is utter bullshit. It hurt! Thank you guys for waiting. I suck so bad.

 

 

 

_The first opportunity for Brian to sneak a peak into Jonathan's diary came when Jonathan was currently in the bathroom, taking a morning shower. The blue spiral notebook was hidden under a pile of clothes when Brian noticed it as he was going back to their shared room to get his phone that was placed on the bed. A smile graced his lips._

_His lips went dry as he flipped the little notebook in his hands; the cover was just blue in color and black words reading “Delirious' Property: No Touchy” was printed neatly on the bottom corner. Why he was so nervous suddenly was something he would like to know himself. As soon as he touched the notebook, his heart was fluttering like mad._

_“It’s just a notebook, Brian,” He mutters, flipping open the cover. "Relax."_

 

 

**Preface: This is a needlessly detailed story about what happened during a time I started liking this guy.  Since I wrote this for myself and for the sake of remembering the events as accurately as possible, I included all details I could.  Therefore, it would be less entertaining than actually hearing me tell only the relevant and interesting parts of the story, but this is the full version.  If you're reading this, it probably means I trust you with the inner machinations of my mind, or that I'm fucking lazy to retell this story FOR THE FUCKING 20th TIME or you're a fucking bitch who reads diaries (you're dead meat once I find out).**

**Okay, so here's one of those diary entries I occasionally write, but I don't want to limit myself by calling it a "diary" this time.  This is nothing more than a story, one that I write with as much accuracy as possible but probably not exactly the way it went down.  My hope is that with this, it will help future me look back at this and remember what the actual fuck happened.**

 

**So I can call this "the story of how I grew balls for the first time" or some shit like that.  Balls are a big factor in this story, as well as big balls being a factor in this story.  Word play aside, balls is the theme of this story.**

**I don't remember the exact date, but the very night (Wednesday night I think) I shared my yolo-swag theory to the lads, we talked about Craig's frustration of not being able to get a girlfriend.  It went something like girls become defensive against approaching guys because they take it the wrong way, and therefore it's really hard to maintain friendship with them especially when he has nothing in common with them.  The main argument was that Marcel and Tyler were trying to get him to grow balls and just try, while Craig kept saying that it was pointless and awkward to do.  I agreed with most of the "excuses" Craig made (he accused that Marcel and Tyler wouldn't understand because they're both taken) but I also agreed with the fact that Craig should grow some fucking balls (I said something like "I have the same problems, but I don't give a fuck so I'm okay.  You're obviously not okay with it, so you should do something about it").**

**And guess what happened? Evan went online the same time I said that shit so I was really, really, REALLY, embarrassed and I was blushing like a whore when he asked me about the "problems" and I was like "SHOULD I REALLY TELL HIM WHEN IT'S ALL ABOUT HIM?" but I kept my mouth shut and sent him a private message on Skype to avoid him any further questions from him.** **I've really liked Evan for awhile now. And my feelings for him get stronger every single day we play and hang out and just tell each other shit.**

**I love him.**

_Brian gulped and felt a pang of strong emotions in his chest. Oh hell no._

 

**Next day (Thursday) I hope to get closer to Evan again during our GTA V recording, only to find out that this week's activity is cancelled.  So like fuck, you know?  Oh well.  I didn't go out cuz I was tired af for some reason, and I saw everyone come back online from their shit (DRUNK!) which led to Craig's strip show and Tyler laughing like a pig lol.**

 

**And that's how momentum died a bit.  There wasn't much I could do.  I still thought about Evan, a lot.  I didn't have a way to get closer to him until next week's recording. Next week. I gotta wait for another week. All through the week I just got pumped up about the recording and occasionally looked at seddit (lol) to become swagmaster.  Everything kinda made sense now.  You gotta grow balls and you gotta grab opportunity by the balls.  So I feel really damn good about this and I try to grow confidence and shit.**

 

**Ah Evan Fong. I love my best friend.**

_Brian bit his lower lip to stop himself from crying. When he heard the shower stop, he quickly placed the notebook where it was earlier and hurriedly ran out of the room. It was painful. And he wasn't sure if he could handle it._

After seeing Evan, he silently admitted defeat. The man was, indeed, too much for him. He couldn't even compare himself to Evan. His aura was so strong he felt his heart crack again, and the look in Jonathan's face didn't help either. Brian wanted to tell the older one that he was quite doing a great job hiding his real emotions for Evan, because there he was, standing in front of Evan, with a cold stare, and Brian couldn't exactly pinpoint if it was pain he saw in Jonathan's eyes or the longing he felt for the Asian man. He was so jealous.

But at the same time, he knew he couldn't win. Never.

Brian sighs deeply and slowly smiles. It doesn't matter anymore if he couldn't have Jonathan. He wants to be there for him as a friend. He wants to be there to make sure that it'll be him to catch him once he falls. That is, if Evan wouldn't and couldn't reciprocate Jonathan's feelings.

He shouldn't probably give up just like that. He'll wait.

 

 

oo000oo

 

 

Jonathan's heart stops for a moment after hearing what Evan has said. Slowly, he raises his head and looks at Evan and Evan looks back at him. He has to swallow before he was able to speak.

“W-Why are you asking me this now?” he asks. He doesn't get an answer right away and he sees Evan hesitate. Jonathan knows he shouldn't push the other, but he couldn't wait. He has to know if Evan is being serious or not. He doesn't have time for this-- which may cause heartbreak and he doesn't know if he could make it still this time.

Jonathan gulps. "Y-You're really asking me out?"

The world is suddenly moving slowly, so slowly; the second hand on a clock moving in deliberate motion. The silence, the fact that Evan didn't respond, is killing Jonathan and he could almost hear his own pulse, heartbeat picking up a more rapid pace. 

Evan still didn't say anything. Jonathan's nervous now. 

"Evan? Are you really asking me out or--"

"Yeah."

_Oh god._

_Oh god, he said it._

_He just said...it._

How many times had Jonathan thought about stopping, telling himself it wasn't worth to wait for his best friend anymore because it's fucking impossible for him to change.  He had cried, he had hoped, waited. All those days of yearning... Evan has finally done it. It has been rough, horrible and lonely because Jonathan has been fighting for this all by himself.   
  
Jonathan can't hold back and cries. He cries with so many emotions; eyes closed shut and both his hands covering his mouth and nose. Tears are running down to his hands but he doesn't even feel it. Evan chuckles and hugs him, arms embracing him and pulling him close – his head against Jonathan's head.

"Sshh... Hush now," Evan speaks in a low voice, but for Jonathan it is like the sweetest voice he has ever heard and that only makes him cry even more.  

 

oo000oo

 

 

The poor thing certainly does look miserable with his red, runny nose, puffy eyes and tear-streaked face, Evan thinks. Jonathan gives another pitiful sniffle before bursting into a fresh set of wails and tears as he throws his arms around him, sobbing loudly. Evan stands stock-still as the male cries into his chest, dampening his shirt. 

Jonathan looks so cute crying in his arms. He doesn't stop hugging him and shushing him. It must have been really tough for Jonathan, after seeing his reaction with what he has asked. He must be really in love with him. That fact hurts him, but he wants his best friend so bad. So bad he did this. He can't have Jonathan stay away from him any longer. He needs him so much. 

_I need Jonathan._

Jonathan suddenly pulls away from his chest and sniffs ever so cutely, making Evan "aaww" in his head. 

"I...I am s-so happy--" the smaller one breaks off, grabbing a hold of his own wrists and looking up at him. "Happy."

Evan finds himself staring into those watery, chocolate-colored eyes. Jonathan is opening and closing his mouth stupidly and very much like a goldfish. Evan lowers his gaze to those parted lips, entranced by their pink...plumpness?

Then it just happens.

It just really happens.

Evan grabs Jonathan by the hair- hair, not face, he notes somewhere in the back of his head - and forces himself down, smashing their lips together. Jonathan's eyes becoming impossibly round, he struggles to grab hold of something as Evan who is practically sucking his lips clung to him. Evan's fingers tangles in his best friend’s hair and coils his legs around his waist, grinding their hips and groins together. 

Evan grips the handrail tightly as a pleasurable sensation spreads through his body. The area between his legs feels strangely warm as he supports the moaning man's bottom with his hands, turning to lean against the metal and ignoring the chilly breeze. Whatever he is doing with his hips blocks off any sensible thought that attempts to make its way into his clouded head. All he wants to do is to get rid of the building pressure in his lower regions - and to get rid of the obvious bulge in the front of his pants.

_I need this._

Pulling away from Jonathan in his arms, Evan staggers restlessly for the parking lot, gritting his teeth when the other mewls continuously as they walk. Nearly sighing with relief when he reaches his car, Evan sets the older one in the passenger's seat before hurrying to the driver's side, eager to get home and finish whatever was started. He cannot think of anything. Just Jonathan, his arousal, then back to Jonathan. He wants him.

"E-Evan, I don't...I don't think this is right," And Evan hears his best friend pant heavily, his lust-filled eyes on him.

"It'll be okay, Jonathan, trust me," he grunts, driving as fast as he could without getting a ticket. "God, Delirious. Stop doing that, I am driving." 

But Jonathan is still doing it- licking his swollen bottom lip, then Evan makes a deep appreciative noise in the back of his throat. In the mean time, Evan's attention is wholly on this fucking gorgeous man.   
  
Evan, on the other hand, lets out a silent cheer when he pulls into his driveway. Once his vehicle was parked, he jumps out and takes his lovely companion up to his room, licking his dry lips repeatedly as his hardened dick throbs in his pants. To be very honest, he's watched gay porn before and he actually knows how "guys" do it. And Jonathan being this hot makes everything easier for him.   
  
Jonathan lies himself down on to the bed, smiling sweetly up at Evan as he grabs the hem of his shirt and pulls him down for a kiss. The taller man responds eagerly, lying half-way on top of him, pulling Jonathan's shirt off and tossing it away.   
  
Grabbing Jonathan's hips, Evan feels a bit of confusion as he feels the other man's tongue licking at his mouth, but shrugs it off and parts his lips, feeling relieved that he didn't do something stupid when Jonathan slips his eager tongue into his cavern.   
  
A jolt shot through his body when their tongues make contact, and Evan lets out a low moan, his hands moving a bit lower to squeeze Jonathan’s perky ass. Feeling a sense of accomplishment when the lithe male whimpers with pleasure, Evan moves to take his own shirt off.   
  
Jonathan complies willingly, lapping up the saliva that dribbles down his chin as he helps toss Evan's shirt away. He looks up at the slightly-tanned man's face and grins a bit at his lost expression. 

"Virgin?"   
  
Jonathan is startled by the question. He is about to answer when Evan cuts him off.  
  
Evan smiles at him, rubbing his cheek with the back-side of his hand. "You're hesitating. It's okay," He winks coyly. "I'll help you out."   
  
Grabbing the back of Jonathan’s head, he kisses Jonathan first before pulling himself towards the other one's chest. He takes one of the hardened nubs into his mouth and began sucking, slowly and unsure at first. Jonathan lets his eyes slip shut, a soft, breathy moan escaping his lips as the man above him begins sucking harder, using a bit of his tongue as well.  
  
"Ahhh...Evan..."   
  
Feeling a boost of confidence, Evan cups Jonathan’s hardening and clothed length in one hand while tweaking the twin nub with the other, all the while abusing the first left nipple.   
  
Arching his back, Jonathan starts bucking his hips into the other man's touch, running his fingers through the soft, brown mane as his moans and groans grow louder.   
  
"Ohhh, Evan...More, I want more--"   
  
His member twitching, Evan releases the thoroughly abused nub and moves to the next one, biting softly at it while slipping his hand into Jonathan’s pajama pants, squeezing the leaking dick through his boxers. Jonathan begins mewling loudly, tugging at his hair and thrusting his hips more wildly into his touch.  
  
After a few more teasing strokes and squeezes, Evan gives into Jonathan’s slurred demands of, "Fuck, Evan! Quit teasing and do it alreadyyy!" and yanks his remaining articles of clothing off, allowing his erected cock out of its binds. Experimentally, he wraps his hand around the other's weeping member, pumping his hands a few times. As Jonathan’s eyes roll back in pleasure, Evan starts pumping harder, holding the thrashing man's hips down.   
  
"Oh fuck, Evan! Harder, faster!" He is practically screaming. He squeezes the bed sheets, biting his lip harshly as he attempts to buck his hips into the younger man's touch. "A-Ah! I-I'm coming, Evan...!"   
  
Evan releases Jonathan’s member, earning a loud and angry wail. Wiggling his eyebrows with a silly little smile on his face, Evan bends over and licks the side of the thin man's cock, resisting the urge to grin again when his protests die immediately and is replaced with a moan.  
  
After a couple more licks, Evan takes the whole length into his mouth, the strange taste in his mouth exciting him. Especially when Jonathan whimpers with every lick and suck. Sitting up suddenly, Jonathan gently pulls Evan up, earning a confused look from the other. But the smaller man merely smiles before taking one of his companion's hands and puts his fingers in his mouth, sucking them with obvious relish. 

"What are you..."   
  
Jonathan silences him and continues with what he is doing, fighting the urge to laugh at the other man's expression. Once Evan’s fingers are nice and slick, Jonathan pulls him closer and brings his hand toward his own entrance, smiling at the look of realization in the Evan's face.   
  
Pushing one of the lubricated fingers into his hole, Jonathan closes his eyes, a soft moan of pleasure escaping his swollen lips. He pushes the second, then third finger in as far as they would go, melting into a puddle of moaning mess again.   
  
"Move them, please," He whispers, his eyes heavily lidded. Evan nods and begins pushing his fingers in and out of the tight but wet entrance, nibbling his bottom lip as Jonathan shifts into his lap and starts grinding their erections together.   
  
"Oh Evan, it feels so good..." Jonathan pants, tilting his head to suck and nip at Evan’s tanned neck. Evan groans loudly, shoving his fingers harder and harder each time, scissoring them every now and then.  
  
"Wait, stop."   
  
Evan freezes instantly, a slight feeling of dread filling him as he feels he may have done something wrong. He looks up at the older man, curiosity replacing his dread when Jonathan tugs at his pants.   
  
"It's not fair if I'm the only one naked now, is it?" He smiles with fake innocence, pulling Evan’s pants down and tossing it away. Jonathan has been planning on having the attractive man fuck him but he's never thought it would happen at this hour of the day, but when he sees the size of his length, he thinks otherwise.   
  
Pulling his boxers off, Jonathan gently pushes Evan down, running his hand over the smooth crevices of the other's abs before taking the swollen mushroom-head into his mouth, licking the pre-cum up. Evan clenches his fists, unable to resist thrusting his hips up into that hot wet mouth. Staring up at him seductively, Jonathan takes the whole, thick cock into his mouth, sucking it harshly and running his pink tongue along the sides.   
  
Evan shuts his eyes tightly, trying to contain his moans as the man sitting between his legs bobs his head, humming as he fondles his sack.   
  
"Fuck, Jonathan," He pants as pressure builds up in his nether regions and moans loudly when he releases his seed, filling the awaiting mouth till the saline liquid drips messily down his chin. Jonathan swallows it, licking any remains around his mouth before turning himself around. Without warning, he lowers himself on to Evan’s semi-erected cock, making both males yell out.   
  
The smaller man moves fast, forcing the blunt head into his entrance as he bounces up and down like a whore, his own member hardening again as Evan grabs his hips and begins thrusting into him.   
  
"Oh, fuck...oh fucking damn!" Evan growls between clenched teeth as he flips their positions and begins pounding into the other man, eliciting ear-piercing screams and mewls. The bed creaks loudly of their combined weight and movement, threatening to collapse at any moment when Evan moans loudly, coming all over again inside that tight, hot channel while Jonathan cries out, his arms giving way underneath him.   
  
Falling on top of the other equally sweaty male, Evan pants loudly, trying to regain his breath. He stares down at Jonathan, perspiration dripping down the bridge of his nose as his vision goes fuzzy. Evan takes in the other's lovely appearance before pulling out of him and rolling on to his back, staring at the ceiling.

 _I need him. But I don't--_  
  
His chest heaves painfully, his vision is bleary, and his eyelids feel like a ton of bricks. Barely registering Jonathan’s sudden movement on his left,  _I'm sorry, Delirious,_ is what is on his mind before he passes out.

 

 

 --tbc--

 


End file.
